Which playing card can turn its hand to everything?

Jack of all Spades

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Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

Why is Nicolas Cage's radio so loud?

He doesn't know how to turn things down

How do we get in?

Obi-Wan: We'll be stealthy. *turns on huge, glowing laser sword*

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

Why doesn't Gabe Newell play basketball?

Because he can't make 3's

What do electric trains and breasts have in common?

They're intended for children but it's the men who usually end up playing with them.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

When I lose faith in humanity, I think of Chili's just handing out sick, light-up beepers, trusting us to return them. And know what?

We do.

Why doesn't Jesus like M&ampM's?

Because they fall through his hands.

Jack Jokes More Jack Jokes

Who you must not greet on a plane?

HI Jack!

What's the worst thing to say to a friend you see on a plane?

Hi Jack!

Spade Jokes More Spade Jokes

How can Euchre and Marriage be similar?

Sometimes you start out all hearts and diamonds, but end up wishing you had a club and a spade.

What does marriage have in common with a deck of cards?

In the beginning, you only need two hearts and a diamond. Later on, a club and a spade.