Which playing card can turn its hand to everything?

Jack of all Spades

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What does supervillain Black Man need to do to escape the crime scene?

Turn off all the lights.

Why did the Japanese funeral home have to turn away new business?

They ran out of san storage

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Why couldn't Handel play his harpsichord?

Because it was baroquen.

How do you make a trombone sound like a French horn?

Stick your hand in the bell and play lots of wrong notes.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

How is a judge like an English teacher?

They both hand out long sentences.

What do you call a sentinel with three hands?

A watchman.

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What did the jack say to the car?

Can I give you a lift

Why didn't Rose get an iPhone 7?

She never let go, Jack.

Spade Jokes More Spade Jokes

What do you call a man with a spade on his head?

Doug Got a set of tweezers as the toy as well. Hours of fun right there.

How do you stop a monster digging up your garden?

Take his spade away.