Jack Jokes

What's the worst thing to say to a friend you see on a plane?

Hi Jack!

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Why was the Jack-o-Lantern afraid to cross the road?

He had no guts!

What does the pirates 5 trailer and the iPhone 7 have in common?

There's no jack

Why is Rose sad?

Because there is no Jack in iPhone 7.

Why did Tim Cook fire an unpaid intern lately?

His name was Jack

Why was Jack scared?

Because Jack was bean stalked

Why does ACDC prefer Android to Apple?

She's Got The Jack

Why did Apple employee get away jacking off in the office?

Because there are no windows!

What did Samsung say to Apple?

You don't no jack!

Which playing card can turn its hand to everything?

Jack of all Spades

Where's the best place to buy jive cheese?

Monterey, Jack!

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Who you must not greet on a plane?

HI Jack!

How did Jack get rich?

His bean-stock went up.

What do Winnie the Pooh and Jack the Ripper have in common?

The same middle name.

How did Jack grow his portfolio?

He invested in beanstocks!

What happens when Jack is angry with his beans?

Jack and the beans talk

What do you get when you cross Michael Jackson with the Karate Kid?

Jacks on Jacks off

What does a toddler get drunk off of?

Jack Danimals!

Why did Jack get a restraining order?

Beanstalking.

What do you call a rabbit who lifts weights?

A jacked rabbit.

How did Jack know exactly where to find the goose in the giant's castle?

He had her.

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Whats an iPhone 7's favorite brand of frozen pizza?

Not Jack's.

Who sleeps at the bottom of the sea?

Jack the kipper!

What did the jack say to the car?

Can I give you a lift

What do Apple and Rose have in common?

They both lost jack.

What happened to the Guns 'n Roses tour bus when it got a flat tire and had to be jacked up?

Its axle rose.

What did the thief say when he saw the man leave his coat behind?

Let's jack it.

Why didn't Rose get an iPhone 7?

She never let go, Jack.

Why did Jack cross the road?

Because he was bean stalked.....

What's wrong with the sentence "Jack and Jill is playing in the field?

Women should be first.

Why did the pirate have trouble with the alphabet?

Because his 'I' was all jacked up.

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What did Apply say to the iPhone 7?

Hit the road, Jack.

What do you call a man with a car on his head?

Jack

Why Was Jill upest about the new iphone?

Because there was no jack.

What did terrorist say to my friend Jack?

Hi Jack!

What does Rupert the Bear and Jack the Ripper have in common?

Same middle name!

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Karate Kid Jokes More Karate Kid Jokes

What do you get when you cross Michael Jackson with the Karate Kid?

Jacks on Jacks off

What move does the karate kid practice the most?

He wax off everyday

Pirate Jokes More Pirate Jokes

How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced?

A buck 'n ear

How do pirates know they exist?

They think, therefore they ARRRRRRRR!

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

What did the house turn into on the night of the full moon?

A Warehouse.

How do you turn a dishwasher into a snow plow?

Give her a shovel!

Tim Cook Jokes More Tim Cook Jokes

Why did Tim Cook fire an unpaid intern lately?

His name was Jack

What do Tim Cook and the iPhone 6 Plus have in common?

They both made the news for not being straight.

Android Jokes More Android Jokes

How many Android users does it take to buy an iPhone?

Zero. Apple doesn't accept EBT.

What do you call a cross dressed robot?

Android-gynous

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

What do Maroon 5 and Jack Reacher have in common?

They both spend all their money on payphones.

How do the Dallas Cowboys spend their first week at spring training?

Studying their Miranda Rights.

Stalk Jokes More Stalk Jokes

Why are farmers so wealthy?

Because their stalks are always growing.

What is the definition of stalking?

When two people takes a long, romantic walk on the beach, but only one of them knows about it

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What do you get if you cross an agnostic, a dyslexic and an insomniac?

Someone who lays awake at night, wondering if there is a dog.

Why couldn't the Ghostbusters ever finish Oregon Trail?

Because they couldn't cross the streams.