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Jack Jokes

What's the worst thing to say to a friend you see on a plane?

Hi Jack!

We've Got This Love Thing Down

We've Got This Love Thing Down

Why was the Jack-o-Lantern afraid to cross the road?

He had no guts!

What does the pirates 5 trailer and the iPhone 7 have in common?

There's no jack

Why is Rose sad?

Because there is no Jack in iPhone 7.

Why did Tim Cook fire an unpaid intern lately?

His name was Jack

Why was Jack scared?

Because Jack was bean stalked

Why does ACDC prefer Android to Apple?

She's Got The Jack

Why did Apple employee get away jacking off in the office?

Because there are no windows!

What did Samsung say to Apple?

You don't no jack!

Which playing card can turn its hand to everything?

Jack of all Spades

Where's the best place to buy jive cheese?

Monterey, Jack!

I Love Pizza & You

I Love Pizza & You

Who you must not greet on a plane?

HI Jack!

How did Jack get rich?

His bean-stock went up.

What do Winnie the Pooh and Jack the Ripper have in common?

The same middle name.

How did Jack grow his portfolio?

He invested in beanstocks!

What happens when Jack is angry with his beans?

Jack and the beans talk

What do you get when you cross Michael Jackson with the Karate Kid?

Jacks on Jacks off

What does a toddler get drunk off of?

Jack Danimals!

Why did Jack get a restraining order?

Beanstalking.

What do you call a rabbit who lifts weights?

A jacked rabbit.

How did Jack know exactly where to find the goose in the giant's castle?

He had her.

Birthday State of Mind

Birthday State of Mind

Whats an iPhone 7's favorite brand of frozen pizza?

Not Jack's.

Who sleeps at the bottom of the sea?

Jack the kipper!

What did the jack say to the car?

Can I give you a lift

What do Apple and Rose have in common?

They both lost jack.

What happened to the Guns 'n Roses tour bus when it got a flat tire and had to be jacked up?

Its axle rose.

What did the thief say when he saw the man leave his coat behind?

Let's jack it.

Why didn't Rose get an iPhone 7?

She never let go, Jack.

Why did Jack cross the road?

Because he was bean stalked.....

What's wrong with the sentence "Jack and Jill is playing in the field?

Women should be first.

Why did the pirate have trouble with the alphabet?

Because his 'I' was all jacked up.

Love

Love

What did Apply say to the iPhone 7?

Hit the road, Jack.

What do you call a man with a car on his head?

Jack

Why Was Jill upest about the new iphone?

Because there was no jack.

What did terrorist say to my friend Jack?

Hi Jack!

What does Rupert the Bear and Jack the Ripper have in common?

Same middle name!

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Pirate Jokes More Pirate Jokes

What are Pirate clothes made of?

Yarrrrrn.

What does a pirate wear if he works at Apple?

IPatch

Maroon Jokes More Maroon Jokes

What do Maroon 5 and Jack Reacher have in common?

They both spend all their money on payphones.

What happened when a ship carrying red paint collided with a ship carrying blue paint?

Both crews were marooned.

Office Jokes More Office Jokes

Why is American Airlines the best airlines company?

Because they are the only one to drop you directly to your office.

Why did the fruit leave office?

Because he was imPEACHED! lol. i hate myself.

Morning Jokes More Morning Jokes

What's the difference between this morning and your wife?

I'm not coming in *this morning*

Why did the drill instructor squirt condiments on his trainees in the morning?

That's how he mustard the troops.

Gut Jokes More Gut Jokes

Why did the skeleton burp?

Because he didn't have the guts to fart.

Why did the skeleton burp in the church?

He didn't have the guts to fart

Jack O Jokes More Jack O Jokes

How do you mend a jack-o-lantern?

With a pumpkin patch.

Why was the Jack-o-Lantern afraid to cross the road?

He had no guts!

Breakfast Jokes More Breakfast Jokes

What did Hannibal Lector have for breakfast?

Kevin Bacon.... And Jon Hamm.

How did the dog's owner know his pet was angry about having soap flakes for breakfast?

He foamed at the mouth.

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

What does an agnostic, dyslexic insomniac spend his time doing?

Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

Why didn't the man report his stolen credit card?

The thief was spending less then his wife.