Jack Jokes

What's the worst thing to say to a friend you see on a plane?

Hi Jack!

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Why was the Jack-o-Lantern afraid to cross the road?

He had no guts!

What does the pirates 5 trailer and the iPhone 7 have in common?

There's no jack

Why is Rose sad?

Because there is no Jack in iPhone 7.

Why did Tim Cook fire an unpaid intern lately?

His name was Jack

Why was Jack scared?

Because Jack was bean stalked

Why does ACDC prefer Android to Apple?

She's Got The Jack

What did Samsung say to Apple?

You don't no jack!

Which playing card can turn its hand to everything?

Jack of all Spades

Where's the best place to buy jive cheese?

Monterey, Jack!

Who you must not greet on a plane?

HI Jack!

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How did Jack get rich?

His bean-stock went up.

What do Winnie the Pooh and Jack the Ripper have in common?

The same middle name.

How did Jack grow his portfolio?

He invested in beanstocks!

What happens when Jack is angry with his beans?

Jack and the beans talk

What do you get when you cross Michael Jackson with the Karate Kid?

Jacks on Jacks off

What does a toddler get drunk off of?

Jack Danimals!

Why did Jack get a restraining order?

Beanstalking.

What do you call a rabbit who lifts weights?

A jacked rabbit.

How did Jack know exactly where to find the goose in the giant's castle?

He had her.

Whats an iPhone 7's favorite brand of frozen pizza?

Not Jack's.

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Who sleeps at the bottom of the sea?

Jack the kipper!

What did the jack say to the car?

Can I give you a lift

What do Apple and Rose have in common?

They both lost jack.

What happened to the Guns 'n Roses tour bus when it got a flat tire and had to be jacked up?

Its axle rose.

What did the thief say when he saw the man leave his coat behind?

Let's jack it.

Why didn't Rose get an iPhone 7?

She never let go, Jack.

Why did Jack cross the road?

Because he was bean stalked.....

What's wrong with the sentence "Jack and Jill is playing in the field?

Women should be first.

Why did the pirate have trouble with the alphabet?

Because his 'I' was all jacked up.

What did Apply say to the iPhone 7?

Hit the road, Jack.

What do you call a man with a car on his head?

Jack

Why Was Jill upest about the new iphone?

Because there was no jack.

What does Rupert the Bear and Jack the Ripper have in common?

Same middle name!

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What happens when U change position too fast?

You get an unpleasant vowel movement.

What happens when you flip an 8 to it's side?

Everything, given enough time

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

What do women and fuses have in common?

They blow when they get turned on.

How do you get a German out of the bath?

Turn on the water.

Lumber Jack Jokes More Lumber Jack Jokes

What do Lumber jacks do in China?

Chop sticks!

What do you call a pig that's a lumber jack?

Well you call him porkchop

Android Jokes More Android Jokes

How many Android users does it take to buy an iPhone?

Zero. Apple doesn't accept EBT.

What did the Marvel character say when he attained full control of his Android's CPU and Kernel?

I am Root.

Jack O Jokes More Jack O Jokes

Why was the Jack-o-Lantern afraid to cross the road?

He had no guts!

How do you mend a jack-o-lantern?

With a pumpkin patch.

Acdc Jokes More Acdc Jokes

Why did they name themselves AC/DC?

Because that's the chord progression in all their songs.

What were ACDC called when they were kids?

ABCD

Michael Jackson Jokes More Michael Jackson Jokes

Why did Michael Jackson have such a private life?

He wasn't nosey.

What did the World Chess Champion ask Michael Jackson?

Do you want to be black, or white

Gut Jokes More Gut Jokes

What's the difference between Jared from Subway's gut and his junk?

He prefers his gut when it's down 45 pounds, and his junk when it's up 45 pounds.

Why did the egg spill his guts at an AA meeting?

He was addicted to crack.