Jack Jokes

What's the worst thing to say to a friend you see on a plane?

Hi Jack!

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Why was the Jack-o-Lantern afraid to cross the road?

He had no guts!

What does the pirates 5 trailer and the iPhone 7 have in common?

There's no jack

Why is Rose sad?

Because there is no Jack in iPhone 7.

Why did Tim Cook fire an unpaid intern lately?

His name was Jack

Why was Jack scared?

Because Jack was bean stalked

Why does ACDC prefer Android to Apple?

She's Got The Jack

What did Samsung say to Apple?

You don't no jack!

Which playing card can turn its hand to everything?

Jack of all Spades

Where's the best place to buy jive cheese?

Monterey, Jack!

Who you must not greet on a plane?

HI Jack!

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How did Jack get rich?

His bean-stock went up.

What do Winnie the Pooh and Jack the Ripper have in common?

The same middle name.

How did Jack grow his portfolio?

He invested in beanstocks!

What happens when Jack is angry with his beans?

Jack and the beans talk

What do you get when you cross Michael Jackson with the Karate Kid?

Jacks on Jacks off

What does a toddler get drunk off of?

Jack Danimals!

Why did Jack get a restraining order?

Beanstalking.

What do you call a rabbit who lifts weights?

A jacked rabbit.

How did Jack know exactly where to find the goose in the giant's castle?

He had her.

Whats an iPhone 7's favorite brand of frozen pizza?

Not Jack's.

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Who sleeps at the bottom of the sea?

Jack the kipper!

What did the jack say to the car?

Can I give you a lift

What do Apple and Rose have in common?

They both lost jack.

What happened to the Guns 'n Roses tour bus when it got a flat tire and had to be jacked up?

Its axle rose.

What did the thief say when he saw the man leave his coat behind?

Let's jack it.

Why didn't Rose get an iPhone 7?

She never let go, Jack.

Why did Jack cross the road?

Because he was bean stalked.....

What's wrong with the sentence "Jack and Jill is playing in the field?

Women should be first.

Why did the pirate have trouble with the alphabet?

Because his 'I' was all jacked up.

What did Apply say to the iPhone 7?

Hit the road, Jack.

What do you call a man with a car on his head?

Jack

Why Was Jill upest about the new iphone?

Because there was no jack.

What does Rupert the Bear and Jack the Ripper have in common?

Same middle name!

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Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

What did the claustrophobic fungi say to his friends?

There's not mushroom in here

Why did Dr Facilier cross the road?

He had friends on the other side.

Breakfast Jokes More Breakfast Jokes

Where do Irish people go for breakfast?

Drunkin Donuts

What do you call taking a dump after breakfast?

A Brexit

Maroon Jokes More Maroon Jokes

What do Maroon 5 and Jack Reacher have in common?

They both spend all their money on payphones.

What happened when a ship carrying red paint collided with a ship carrying blue paint?

Both crews were marooned.

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

What do you call a fire at the Internet cafe?

An e-mergency.

What you call it?

Takes back mixtape* FIRE!

Tim Cook Jokes More Tim Cook Jokes

Why did Tim Cook fire an unpaid intern lately?

His name was Jack

What's Tim Cook's new nickname?

Jack the Ripper

Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

Why is everyone talking about me?

They seem mad..." -Temp worker at Foot Locker

What next?

Damn. I guess we'll have talk to people in real life.

Window Jokes More Window Jokes

What did the Windows user say to his Linux terminal?

DIR

Why did Microsoft skip straight to 10?

Because Windows 7, 8, 9.

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

What do you call a Hindu god playing basketball?

Swishnu

Why are stormtroopers so bad at aiming?

Because they're playing on console.