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Jack Jokes

What's the worst thing to say to a friend you see on a plane?

Hi Jack!

Love Card

Love Card

Why was the Jack-o-Lantern afraid to cross the road?

He had no guts!

What does the pirates 5 trailer and the iPhone 7 have in common?

There's no jack

Why is Rose sad?

Because there is no Jack in iPhone 7.

Why did Tim Cook fire an unpaid intern lately?

His name was Jack

Why was Jack scared?

Because Jack was bean stalked

Why does ACDC prefer Android to Apple?

She's Got The Jack

Why did Apple employee get away jacking off in the office?

Because there are no windows!

What did Samsung say to Apple?

You don't no jack!

Which playing card can turn its hand to everything?

Jack of all Spades

Where's the best place to buy jive cheese?

Monterey, Jack!

Birthday State of Mind

Birthday State of Mind

Who you must not greet on a plane?

HI Jack!

How did Jack get rich?

His bean-stock went up.

What do Winnie the Pooh and Jack the Ripper have in common?

The same middle name.

How did Jack grow his portfolio?

He invested in beanstocks!

What happens when Jack is angry with his beans?

Jack and the beans talk

What do you get when you cross Michael Jackson with the Karate Kid?

Jacks on Jacks off

What does a toddler get drunk off of?

Jack Danimals!

Why did Jack get a restraining order?

Beanstalking.

What do you call a rabbit who lifts weights?

A jacked rabbit.

How did Jack know exactly where to find the goose in the giant's castle?

He had her.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Whats an iPhone 7's favorite brand of frozen pizza?

Not Jack's.

Who sleeps at the bottom of the sea?

Jack the kipper!

What did the jack say to the car?

Can I give you a lift

What do Apple and Rose have in common?

They both lost jack.

What happened to the Guns 'n Roses tour bus when it got a flat tire and had to be jacked up?

Its axle rose.

What did the thief say when he saw the man leave his coat behind?

Let's jack it.

Why didn't Rose get an iPhone 7?

She never let go, Jack.

Why did Jack cross the road?

Because he was bean stalked.....

What's wrong with the sentence "Jack and Jill is playing in the field?

Women should be first.

Why did the pirate have trouble with the alphabet?

Because his 'I' was all jacked up.

Love

Love

What did Apply say to the iPhone 7?

Hit the road, Jack.

What do you call a man with a car on his head?

Jack

Why Was Jill upest about the new iphone?

Because there was no jack.

What did terrorist say to my friend Jack?

Hi Jack!

What does Rupert the Bear and Jack the Ripper have in common?

Same middle name!

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Acdc Jokes More Acdc Jokes

What is a Power Adapter's favorite rock band?

AC/DC

Why does ACDC prefer Android to Apple?

She's Got The Jack

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

What would you do if you won the lottery?

Two friends meet together and one asks: What would you do if you won the lottery? -I would build a brothel! Oh, and if it went wrong and you loose money? -I'd open it to the public

When you go to a regular movie, a friend asks you "so how good was the movie?

When you go to an M.night Shamylan movie a friend asks " So how bad was the plot twist "

Bad Thing Jokes More Bad Thing Jokes

What's the worst thing you can hear when Willy Nelson is going down on you?

I'm not Willy Nelson

What's the worst thing when being told you have Alzheimer's?

It doesn't just happen the once.

Terrorist Jokes More Terrorist Jokes

What do terrorists say to their sister?

H'Isis

How do terrorists like their apple pie?

Allah mode.

Plane Jokes More Plane Jokes

Why was the World Trade Center in a hurry?

It had a plane to catch.

What do you get when you intersect two planes?

A national travesty.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What do you call a tree that you can fit in your hand?

A PALM TREE!!!

What did the pavement smoother say after he lost his hands?

I literally can't even.

Maroon Jokes More Maroon Jokes

What happened when a ship carrying red paint collided with a shipcarrying blue paint?

Both crews were marooned.

What do Maroon 5 and Jack Reacher have in common?

They both spend all their money on payphones.

Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

Why did the hipster break up with her boyfriend?

He didn't have all the 7" he kept talking about.

How can you tell if someone is from New York?

They always talk about how they're from New York.