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Where's the best place to buy jive cheese?

Monterey, Jack!

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What do you call it when you buy stocks of a clothing company?

A good in-vest-ment

Why does no one buy food for a platypus?

They always have a big bill!

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What is the best place for politicians?

Election posters. There they are portable, silent and easy to remove.

Where is the best place in a book store to find a man who is handsome a good lover and a stimulating partner?

A. In the pages of a romance novel.

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What did Apply say to the iPhone 7?

Hit the road, Jack.

How did Jack get rich?

His bean-stock went up.