Because they're playing on console.
They always want to play leap-frog with him.
Because of the violins inherent in the cistern.
Memories of your dad leaving you are in 30fps
It's the bot that counts.
Because they always miss.
So their hats are right side up when they go to aim.
It's the only activity where you actually aim for the hole under 18 and you don't go to jail.
