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Why does Jesus hate M&Ms?

They keep falling through his hands.

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Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

What did one autumn leaf say to another?

I'm falling for you.

What did the earwig say as it fell down the stairs?

Ear we go!

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

Why did Jesus go to the gym?

To make sure his cross fit.

Why did Jesus take three days to resurrect after dying on the cross?

Because the date wasn't nailed down.

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

What do you call the second-most hated politician in America?

Madam President.

Why do the horses hate the jockey?

Because he's a horse racist.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

How you turn a washer into a snow blower?

Hand her a shovel

What's a man's idea of a balanced diet?

Beer in each hand!

M&M Jokes More M&M Jokes

How much longer?

Did you bring any snacks They want $5 for M&M's! I wanna go home Is it over yet - me watching my kids Christmas pageant

How many Wake Forest fraternity brothers does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?

Seventeen. One to do it and sixteen to shell the M&M's.