Why doesn't Jesus like M&M's?

Because they fall through his hands.

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Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

How did the Idiot break his arm while raking leaves?

He fell out of the tree.

How did the lumberjack keep his business from falling behind when all the trees ran out?

By moving faux wood. Rimshot

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What do you get when you cross Jesus with a dinosaur?

A velocirapture

What's your opener?

JESUS: "God loves you." You BUDDHA (crumpling paper that says Life Is Suffering): Me too

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

Why do happy Asians always have dirty hands?

If you're happy and you know it, crap your hands.

How do you ask a priest to hand you the spaghetti?

Pasta pasta, pasta.

M&M Jokes More M&M Jokes

How many Wake Forest fraternity brothers does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?

Seventeen. One to do it and sixteen to shell the M&M's.

How many raisins do I have to add to this bag of M&Ms before it qualifies as trail mix?

One I say one.