What's your opener?

JESUS: "God loves you." You BUDDHA (crumpling paper that says Life Is Suffering): Me too

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Life Jokes More Life Jokes

Why is there no life on Mars?

No WiFi...

What made you go out on that dangerous pond ice and risk your life to save a friend?

Boy Hero: I had to do it. He had my skates on.

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What's the difference between Tim Howard and Jesus?

Jesus had 11 guys he could depend on.

What was Jesus's favorite band?

Nine Inch Nails.

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

Who should get the cat?

I don't know...let's see who he loves the most" 3 weeks later Can you tell "Nope"

What does love mean to a tennis player?

Nothing

Paper Jokes More Paper Jokes

What's the difference between a Mexican and a notebook?

A notebook has papers.

Why did the researcher take his paper to the harbour?

To get it pier reviewed.

Suffer Jokes More Suffer Jokes

How many Russian leaders does it take to change a light bulb?

Nobody knows. Russian leaders don't last as long as light bulbs. A: None the old bulb is just suffering from a cold.

What illness are you suffering from if you keep seeing cartoon animals who talk?

Disney spells.

God Jokes More God Jokes

What's the difference between a nurse and a nun?

A nun only serves one God.

What do you get when you cross dancing and an act of god?

Deus Ex Macarena

Buddha Jokes More Buddha Jokes

What did the cremated Buddha who was placed in a cardboard box say?

I'm in light urn.'

What kind of hotdog did the Buddha order from the street vendor?

One with everything

Opener Jokes More Opener Jokes

What did the can say to the can opener?

You make me flip my lid.

How does a virgin pop her cherry?

By using a bottle opener

Crumple Jokes More Crumple Jokes

What's your opener?

JESUS: "God loves you." You BUDDHA (crumpling paper that says Life Is Suffering): Me too

What u doing?

Math, it's due Friday" *I slowly crumple the paper and put it in my mouth* They'll never believe u