What do my dad and God have in common?

I've never seen or heard from either of them.

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Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

Why was Simba unable to save his dad in The Lion King?

He couldnt Mufasa enough.

Why are you always tired, Dad?

My 3-year-old asked as she woke me from a nap by poking me in the eye.

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

Why do Retirees smile all the time?

Because they can't hear a word you're saying!

Did you hear about the Mexican train killer?

He had loco motives

God Jokes More God Jokes

What song do turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day?

God save the kin.

What is a million years like to you?

God: Like one second. Mortal: What is a million dollars like to you God: Like one penny. Mortal: Can I have a penny God: Just a second.