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What did the pavement smoother say after he lost his hands?

I literally can't even.

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

How do fish lose weight?

They Swim-fast.

What's the difference between a Southern wedding and a Southern tornado?

Nothing - either way someone's gonna lose a trailer *shamelessly stolen from Robin Williams

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

How do you cut a turd into 5 pieces?

Squish it in your hand.

What would Santa Claus be called if he had no hands?

Canta Plaus.

Pavement Jokes More Pavement Jokes

When a 16-inch viola and a 17-inch viola are dropped simultaneously from a 30-story building which one hits the pavement first?

Who cares!

What do you call the small amount of time between when you slip on a peel and when you hit the pavement?

A bananosecond