Pavement Jokes

When a 16-inch viola and a 17-inch viola are dropped simultaneously from a 30-story building which one hits the pavement first?

Who cares!

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What do you call the small amount of time between when you slip on a peel and when you hit the pavement?

A bananosecond

What did the third cookie say as he reached the pavement in safety?

Crumbs!

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Cookie Jokes More Cookie Jokes

What happens to a plate made out of cookies when you drop it?

It chips.

Why did the cookie not laugh at your joke?

Because it was crumby.

John Lennon Jokes More John Lennon Jokes

What's John Lennon's favorite card game?

Yoko Uno

How did John Lennon like his Pop Tarts?

Strawberry filled forever.

Reach Jokes More Reach Jokes

What do short people call something that's too high up?

Absolute zero, because it's impossible to reach

What do you call a short priest reaching for his Bible that's on the top shelf?

Christina Ricci.

Peel Jokes More Peel Jokes

Why couldn't the banana get a date?

It didn't have a peel.

Why did the banana go to the doctor?

He wasn't peeling very well. Credit to my four year old niece.

Drop Jokes More Drop Jokes

What's the difference between a baby and an ounce of Coke?

Eric Clapton would never drop an ounce of Coke out of a window

How does Times Square start the new year?

By having Mariah Carey drop the ball! "The audience can sing this one."

Small Jokes More Small Jokes

What's the smallest amount of money you would reach into a toilet to get?

Mine is a skittle.

What do you call a 7' 2" fortune teller in his underpants?

A large medium in smalls.

Safety Jokes More Safety Jokes

What did the third cookie say as he reached the pavement in safety?

Crumbs!

What person strives to ensure safety for horses?

Ralph Neighder!

30 Jokes More 30 Jokes

What if earth rotates 30 times faster?

Interviewer:"If the Earth rotates 30 times faster, what will happen?" engineer:"We will get our salary everyday" :D Think Greedily Act Confidently

Why do Mormon women stop having kids at 29?

Because 30 is too many!