Pavement Jokes

What did the pavement smoother say after he lost his hands?

I literally can't even.

April Sale

I Love Pizza & You

$5.99

When a 16-inch viola and a 17-inch viola are dropped simultaneously from a 30-story building which one hits the pavement first?

Who cares!

What do you call the small amount of time between when you slip on a peel and when you hit the pavement?

A bananosecond

What did the third cookie say as he reached the pavement in safety?

Crumbs!

You might also enjoy:

Peel Jokes More Peel Jokes

What do you do when you're sunburned?

Make like a banana and peel.

What did the Banana say to the Monkey?

Yo You peel me

Small Jokes More Small Jokes

What do you call a 7' 2" fortune teller in his underpants?

A large medium in smalls.

What's the smallest amount of money you would reach into a toilet to get?

Mine is a skittle.

Slip Jokes More Slip Jokes

What did the kitten say when it slipped on a banana peel?

Meowch!

How does an international banker have a good Friday night?

He goes to a bar and slips somebody a Rupee, then gives them a Franc and some Deutsche Marks.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What did T-Rex say after doing yoga for the first time?

Dinosore

Why should the Pope play NBA basketball?

Because every time he puts up a prayer it gets answered. (I thought of this myself, but it is so corny, it could easily be in every damn joke book.)

Safety Jokes More Safety Jokes

What person strives to ensure safety for horses?

Ralph Neighder!

Why was Santa sacked two days before Christmas?

Elf and safety

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What did people call Putin after he lost an arm?

Amputin

Why didn't the recently single goose lose her job when she made a mistake?

Because she had one heck of an ex-goose

Care Jokes More Care Jokes

What happens when a lawyer dies??

Who cares!

Who took care of German army dogs after the war?

Veteran Aryans

Reach Jokes More Reach Jokes

Why can't dwarfs sing?

Because they can't reach the high notes. Bonus: how does dwarves communicate? Smalltalk.

Why can't you hear a viola on a digital recording?

Recording technology has reached such an advanced level of development that all extraneous noise is eliminated.