When someone says "excuse me while I slip into something more comfortable", how long are they usually gone?

Two days seems like a long time.

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Day Jokes More Day Jokes

Why do fanfic writers like Amazon Prime?

They get free two-day shipping.

What do communists do on May Day?

Paint the town red.

Excuse Jokes More Excuse Jokes

What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?

A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.

What did the pony say after he coughed?

Excuse me, I'm a little hoarse.

Slip Jokes More Slip Jokes

How did the psychologist die?

He Freudian slipped.

What does a bull do to stay warm on a cold day?

It goes into a barn and slips into a nice warm Jersey.

Long Time Jokes More Long Time Jokes

Why did Woodrow Wilson take a long time to turn around?

Because he could only make 14 point turns.

What did fish on the kitchen bench say to the other fish?

Long time no sea.