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What's the difference between a nail, a screw, and a bolt?

A girl raises her hand and says, "I don't know. I've never been bolted before."

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between Beernuts and Deernuts?

Beernuts are $8.95 and Deernuts are under a buck!

What's the difference between a Walnut and a Chickpea?

I've never had a Walnut on my chest..

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What do you do when you get to the top of the world's tallest mountain?

Have a rest. (Everest, get it?) Really awful joke, but I thought of it last night and was wondering if anyone recognised it? Who knows, it might be original....

How do you know if a chef is a clown?

The food tastes funny.

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many Southern Baptists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Change!

How many Highlanders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE.

Girl Jokes More Girl Jokes

Why do girls have legs?

Ever seen the trail a slug leaves?

What did the carpenter say to the girl he loved?

Oh sweetheart, you are the eye of my maple....

Nail Jokes More Nail Jokes

Why did Jesus quit playing hockey?

He kept getting nailed to the boards.

Why did the carpenter's wife leave him?

He was screwing around when he was supposed to be nailing her.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What do hand grenades and wives have in common?

Remove the ring and your house is gone.

How do you keep a baby from crawling in circles?

Nail the other hand to the floor.

Raise Jokes More Raise Jokes

Why don't you ask Joseph, the carpenter?

God: Uh huge grin cos I'm banging his wife raises hand up top

Why is your dad chasing those pigs through the garden?

We're raising mashed potatoes.

Bolt Jokes More Bolt Jokes

What does a robot do after a one night stand?

He nuts and bolts

What do you if there is a black out?

Make sure your doors are locked and windows bolted shut.