Bolt Jokes

What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand?

He nuts and bolts.

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What did the bolt say to the nut?

Washer? I don't even know 'er!

How does Frankenstein sit in his chair?

Bolt upright.

What do you call a robot that doesn't support his children?

Nuts and bolts

What did one bolt of cloth say to the other bolt of cloth after hurting its feelings?

I'm sari.

Why did the bolt in the ceiling have to go to therapy?

Because it was screwed up!

What do robots do on a one night stand?

He nuts and bolts

What does a mechanic do during a 1 night stand?

He screws, nuts, and bolts

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Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

Who was bigger, the baby or his mom?

The baby, because he's a little Bigger.

What did one plant say to the other plant that was annoying him?

Please leaf me alone! Or I'll tell my mom, and you'll get in trouble.

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

What does a rock do all day?

Nothing. (this joke was made by daughter when she was 5)

What's the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?

You can mash potatoes, but you can't pee soup. (sorry sorry. Really. I've loved this joke since I was... oh.. six...)

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

What do you call a bike in NYC that has been standing out in the sun for hours?

Tire-less

Why are farmers the best at what they do?

They are out standing in their field.

Apparent Reason Jokes More Apparent Reason Jokes

What do you get when you cross a Unitarian with a Jehovah's Witness?

Someone who knocks on your door for no apparent reason.

What do you get when you cross an atheist with a Jehovah's Witness?

Someone knocking at your door for no apparent reason.

Washer Jokes More Washer Jokes

What do you do if your daughter gets dirty in the laundry room?

You washer and dryer.

What did the bolt say to the nut?

Washer? I don't even know 'er!

Cloud Jokes More Cloud Jokes

What's the difference between The Rolling Stones and a Scottsman?

The Rolling Stones say "Hey! You! Get off of my cloud!" And a Scottsman says "Hey McLeod, get of me ewe!"

What do clouds wear during a storm?

Thunderwear

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What does Stalin do on a night out?

Paints the town red

What's the best thing about having insomnia?

Only one nights sleep til Christmas!

Support Jokes More Support Jokes

Which presidential candidate does Tom Brady support?

Whichever can reduce inflation.

What kind of phone does The Flash use?

Not an iPhone because Apple doesn't support flash