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Bolt Jokes

What does a robot do after a one night stand?

He nuts and bolts

I Love Pizza & You

I Love Pizza & You

What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand?

He nuts and bolts.

Why is the robot good at one night stands?

Because he nuts and bolts.

What did the bolt say to the nut?

Washer? I don't even know 'er!

How does Frankenstein sit in his chair?

Bolt upright.

What do you call a robot that doesn't support his children?

Nuts and bolts

What did one bolt of cloth say to the other bolt of cloth after hurting its feelings?

I'm sari.

What did the handyman do... when he got his girlfriend in bed with him for the first time?

He screwed, nutted, and bolted.

Why did the bolt in the ceiling have to go to therapy?

Because it was screwed up!

What does a mechanic do for a one night stand?

He nuts and bolts.

What do robots do on a one night stand?

He nuts and bolts

Love

Love

What do you if there is a black out?

Make sure your doors are locked and windows bolted shut.

What do you call a one night stand with a robot?

Nut and bolt

What does a mechanic do during a 1 night stand?

He screws, nuts, and bolts

What's the difference between a nail, a screw, and a bolt?

A girl raises her hand and says, "I don't know. I've never been bolted before."

Why do robots make bad boyfriends?

They just screw, nut, then bolt.

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Nut Jokes More Nut Jokes

What did the pirate with the steering wheel in his pants say?

Argh it's driving me nuts!

What does the Pillsbury Dough boy hide under his apron?

Dough nuts!

Opposite Direction Jokes More Opposite Direction Jokes

What happens when you pet a cat in the opposite direction?

You rub them the wrong way

What did you just do?

CAT: *bolts for no apparent reason* ME: *bolts in the opposite direction in case she's after both of us*

Hurt Jokes More Hurt Jokes

What happened when Steve Irwin forgot to put on sunscreen?

He got hurt from harmful rays

What's love?

Me: Well, all the women text you except the one you like. And it hurts, so we drink. Sister: Get away from him!

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What do you get if you cross a labrador and a tortoise?

A dog that will run to the shop to get your paper and bring back last weeks paper!

Why was Jesus in such good shape when he died?

He was Cross-Fit.

Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

Why did raggedy Ann get kicked out of the toy box?

She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face screaming "LIE TO ME"!

What did the dog say when it sat on a piece of sandpaper?

Ruff!

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

Why do the ladies love Jesus?

This joke makes more sense if you can see it in person, but we'll give it a shot, anyway. Use your imagination. Why do the ladies love Jesus? Because he was hung like this!

What would you like it to be?

A joke.

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many Anime characters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only 1, but it takes them 15 episodes to do it.

How many members of Coldplay does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one, but he has to see Radiohead do it first.

Case Jokes More Case Jokes

What did you just do?

CAT: *bolts for no apparent reason* ME: *bolts in the opposite direction in case she's after both of us*

Why did the doe give the faun an umbrella?

In case of reindeer. And because I caribou.