What did the handyman do... when he got his girlfriend in bed with him for the first time?

He screwed, nutted, and bolted.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

Why was the policeman in bed?

Because he was an undercover cop

What do Philadelphia Eagles fans do after they win the superbowl?

Turn of madden and go to bed. (I'm an eagles fan)

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many perverts does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one. But it takes the whole ER to get it out.

How many feminists does it take screw in a lightbulb?

One she holds it in the socket and waited for the world to revolve around her.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

How did Genghis Khan conquer Mongolia?

One steppe at a time.

What do you get when when you mix cocaine and LSD?

Time

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What is the difference between my ex-girlfriend and a beer?

One is pale, bitter and starts off with lots of head and the other one is a beer.

Why can't my girlfriend perform at open mic night?

Because she's a cover thief.

Nut Jokes More Nut Jokes

How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb a tree and act like a nut.

What do you call a robot that doesn't support his children?

Nuts and bolts

Handyman Jokes More Handyman Jokes

What does the handyman who has no legs wear on his head?

The handycap.

What did the handyman do... when he got his girlfriend in bed with him for the first time?

He screwed, nutted, and bolted.

Bolt Jokes More Bolt Jokes

What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand?

He nuts and bolts.

What do you call a one night stand with a robot?

Nut and bolt