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What did the handyman do... when he got his girlfriend in bed with him for the first time?

He screwed, nutted, and bolted.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

How sick are you?

Me:- Well i am in bed with my sister

How do you get a black man to stop jumping on the bed?

Put velcro on the ceiling.

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How mani Iowa citizens does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

4 no 5 no 6 no its really 4 - not sure, better flip a coin to get the right number

How many members of Coldplay does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one, but he has to see Radiohead do it first.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What is your biggest strength?

I am always on time." "And your biggest weakness " "I get annoyed when my dealer is late."

Why was Heisenberg's wife unhappy?

Whenever he had the energy, he didn't have the time.

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What did the elephant say to his girlfriend?

I love you a ton!

Why did the Eskimo break up with his girlfriend?

He just wasn't really Inuit...

Nut Jokes More Nut Jokes

What's the difference...?

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are a dollar and deer nuts are just under a buck.

Which nut is the angriest?

The pistachio.

Handyman Jokes More Handyman Jokes

What did the handyman do... when he got his girlfriend in bed with him for the first time?

He screwed, nutted, and bolted.

How did the handyman feel after going to the bar?

He was hammered.

Bolt Jokes More Bolt Jokes

What does a robot do after a one night stand?

He nuts and bolts

What did the bolt say to the nut?

Washer? I don't even know 'er!