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What did the handyman do... when he got his girlfriend in bed with him for the first time?

He screwed, nutted, and bolted.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

What does a psychologist wear to bed?

A Freudian slip.

What do Dallas Cowboys fans do after they win the Super Bowl?

They turn off their XBOX and go to bed!

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

When a hot blonde walks in. The one lawyer says, "Man, wouldn't you like to screw that?

And the other lawyer replies, "Outta what "

How many Carpathians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I don't know, Vigo and see. (best read in Yanosh's voice)

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What did Hamlet say when he heard dubstep for the first time?

Aye, there's the wub

When was the last time you flossed?

Me: "BRO, you were there."

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

Why can't the ghost get his girlfriend pregnant?

Because he's got a hollow-weenie.

What is the difference between arguing with a knife and arguing with your girlfriend?

The knife has a point.

Nut Jokes More Nut Jokes

What does an asylum have in common with a squirrel's house?

They're both used to store nuts.

How many nuts does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A Brazilian

Handyman Jokes More Handyman Jokes

What did the handyman do... when he got his girlfriend in bed with him for the first time?

He screwed, nutted, and bolted.

What does the handyman who has no legs wear on his head?

The handycap.

Bolt Jokes More Bolt Jokes

Why is the robot good at one night stands?

Because he nuts and bolts.

What did the bolt say to the nut?

Washer? I don't even know 'er!