What did the handyman do... when he got his girlfriend in bed with him for the first time?

He screwed, nutted, and bolted.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

When do terrorists go to bed?

9:11 PM

How are you able to stay in bed all morning without getting up to pee?

He replied......It's hard

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many Dragonball Z characters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one, but it takes three episodes.

How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. They hold it in place and wait for the world to revolve around them.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What birds spend all their time on their knees?

Birds of prey!

What happens to garlic sauce over time?

The sausages.

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

Why did the astronomer break up with his girlfriend?

He just needed some space.

Why do babies love sticking things in their mouth?

And why doesn't my girlfriend share this impulse?

Nut Jokes More Nut Jokes

What did the web designer do when a hot girl walked up to him and squeezed his nuts?

He AJAXulated.

What did the pirate say when he had a steering wheel down his pantaloons?

Arr! It's driving me nuts!

Handyman Jokes More Handyman Jokes

How did the handyman feel after going to the bar?

He was hammered.

What did the handyman do... when he got his girlfriend in bed with him for the first time?

He screwed, nutted, and bolted.

Bolt Jokes More Bolt Jokes

What does a mechanic do during a 1 night stand?

He screws, nuts, and bolts

What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand?

He nuts and bolts.