March Madness Sale - 25% Off

What did the handyman do... when he got his girlfriend in bed with him for the first time?

He screwed, nutted, and bolted.

Previous Random Joke Next
Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

How do you get your pigs to sleep at night?

No problem. Everyone here goes to bed with the chickens. You must have a very large chicken house.

What should you do if you find a snake sleeping in your bed?

Sleep in the wardrobe!

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many monastic women does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None... they live an ascetic lifestyle and prefer to not use electricity.

How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Who gives a cluck (I wonder if the moderators will censor this joke merely on the grounds that it is categorically terrible)

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Why did a kid get arrested for taking a home made clock into school?

Sounds like he had already done the... time

What time is it when planes start dropping engines?

Shedding season

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

Why did the cannibal break up with his girlfriend?

She didn't suit his taste!

Why did the oak tree get his girlfriend pregnant?

Because the state abolished plant parenthood

Nut Jokes More Nut Jokes

What kind of nuts go on a carrot cake?

First time posting to.

Why is the robot good at one night stands?

Because he nuts and bolts.

Handyman Jokes More Handyman Jokes

What did the handyman do... when he got his girlfriend in bed with him for the first time?

He screwed, nutted, and bolted.

What does the handyman who has no legs wear on his head?

The handycap.

Bolt Jokes More Bolt Jokes

What do you if there is a black out?

Make sure your doors are locked and windows bolted shut.

What does a hardware salesman do on a one night stand?

He nuts and bolts.