Why do babies love sticking things in their mouth?

And why doesn't my girlfriend share this impulse?

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Stick Jokes More Stick Jokes

Why is Edward Snowden stuck in Russia?

Because he's snowed-in

What sound does it make when you light a stick of dynamite in them middle of a sheep herd?

Ssssssssssss boom! baaaaaaaah!

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What do you call a pirate that sells things?

A sailor.

What's the last thing that goes through a fly's mind when it hits a car windscreen?

Its arse.

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What do you name a girlfriend you haven't had for a long time?

Palmela Handerson

What do you do when your girlfriend starts smoking?

You slow down and use lube ()

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

Whats the difference between a baby and a feminist?

At some point in its life, a baby will grow up and stop crying.

How do blind doctors deliver babies?

With a can't c-section.

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

Why should you send your sweetie a valentine?

Because you always heart the one you love.

Why did the woman fall in love with the surgeon?

Because he cauterize.

Mouth Jokes More Mouth Jokes

What's grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow?

An elephant rolling down a hill with a daisy in its mouth!

What do headmasters and bullfrogs have in common?

Both have big heads that consist mostly of mouth!

Share Jokes More Share Jokes

Why didn't the baby oyster share her little pearl?

She was a little shellfish.

How many people from rio does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A Brazilian. Saw this joke elsewhere and thought i'd share it here.