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Why do babies love sticking things in their mouth?

And why doesn't my girlfriend share this impulse?

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Stick Jokes More Stick Jokes

Why didn't Bungie stick with Halo?

Because it wasn't their Destiny.

Why is Jesus never able to finish more than half of a crossword puzzle?

He always gets stuck on across.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

Why is Nicolas Cage's radio so loud?

He doesn't know how to turn things down

What two things look exactly the opposite but mean exactly the same?

9/11 and 11/9 - darkest days in American history

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What does an illustrator say to his girlfriend on Valentine?

I'm font of you.

What did the Hispanic chef say when he went down on his girlfriend?

Umami!

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

Why shouldn't you put a baby in the microwave?

Because you get better results from slowly roasting it in the oven.

What did the Pharaohs use to keep their babies quiet?

Egyptian dummies.

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

How do you know your boyfriend loves you?

SECOND PIGLET: He signs his letters with lots of hogs and kisses.

Why did the girltree fall in love with the boy tree?

He was sappy

Mouth Jokes More Mouth Jokes

Why did the hipster burn his mouth?

He sipped his drink before it was cool

Why do prescription pills always say "by mouth?

Where else would people put th... Ooooooh.

Share Jokes More Share Jokes

Why don't u share a bed?

Cried Baby Bear.

What do you call a Pirate you share an apartment with?

Your room-matey.