Why do babies love sticking things in their mouth?

And why doesn't my girlfriend share this impulse?

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Stick Jokes More Stick Jokes

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?

A stick.

What did the boy say when he had trouble using glue?

I'm stuck.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

Why do thieves have such a hard time understanding sarcasm?

They take things literally

What's the only thing the English and French agree on?

Americans. Alternatives: What's the only thing Americans and the French agree on? The English. What's the only thing the English and Americans agree on? The French.

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

How did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend?

I just need some space.

What's the best way to break up with your girlfriend?

On the front page of reddit.

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

How do you get a baby alien to sleep?

You rocket.

What do you call a baby Cosmonaut?

Yuri Googoogagarin.

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What did you hear about the tree who was in love?

He pined everyday.

What's the difference between a tease, a love, and a lust?

Spit, swallow, gargle.

Mouth Jokes More Mouth Jokes

Why is being a politician more difficult than being a ventriloquist?

Ventriloquists have to be able to speak with their mouths closed. Politicians speak out of both sides of their mouths simultaneously.

What is the difference between memory and ram?

I can't memory my weiner in your mouth.

Share Jokes More Share Jokes

Why wouldn't blastoise share with charizard?

He was a shellfish Pokémon.

How long do you need to know someone before sharing fries?

Because I'm about to introduce myself to the girl at the end of the bar.