Why did a man bring a ladder to the party?

He heard the drinks were on the house.....

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What did the man say when he accidentally bumped into the astronaut?

I Apollo-gize

What did the captain say to the men before they got on the boat?

Men, get on the boat.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl using the restroom?

Because they're extinct

What did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?

Sametime next month? I heard this jome a while back. Sorry if its a repost