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Handyman Jokes

How did the handyman feel after going to the bar?

He was hammered.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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Everyday Deserves a Joke

What does the handyman who has no legs wear on his head?

The handycap.

What did the handyman do... when he got his girlfriend in bed with him for the first time?

He screwed, nutted, and bolted.

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Hammer Jokes More Hammer Jokes

What did the fireman say when he noticed his hammer was on fire?

This is not a drill.

How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it one to hammer it in.

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

Why did the chicken walk into the bar?

To screw in the lightbulb.

What professional hates going to the bar?

A lawyer

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What do you call it......when you get head from a black girl and a white girl at the same time?

Marblehead

What time does Andy Murray go to bed?

Tennish!

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

When is the only time when No shirt no shorts no shoes gets you service?

If you're a surfer and you're getting head.

Why is it quicker to build a snowman than a snowwoman?

It takes too long to hollow out her head. (I got this one from my uncle)

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

How did the desk lamp store manager feel when thieves stole all his lightbulbs?

He was delighted.

How do you think I feel?

I have to walk Home Alone

Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What has a mouth but never speaks, Has a bed but never sleeps, And has legs but never walks?

Amp;nbsp; A mute, crippled insomniac

What has four legs, two humps, and is given a copy of Metal Gear Solid for their computer?

Revolver Camelot!

Bolt Jokes More Bolt Jokes

What do robots do on a one night stand?

He nuts and bolts

What's the difference between a nail, a screw, and a bolt?

A girl raises her hand and says, "I don't know. I've never been bolted before."

Nut Jokes More Nut Jokes

What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?

Beer nuts are a dollar twenty five, deer nuts are under a buck

What kind of nuts go on a carrot cake?

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