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What do nails like to do on the weekend?

Get hammered.

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Like Jokes More Like Jokes

How are the Mafia and the Amish similar?

They both don't like wires

Why was my other pillow jealous?

Because I like to sleep around.

Nail Jokes More Nail Jokes

Why did Jesus quit playing ice hockey?

He kept getting nailed to the boards.

What did the Hammerhead shark say to his buddies when he got laid?

Nailed it.

Hammer Jokes More Hammer Jokes

Why did the blonde put her finger over the nail when she was hammering?

The noise gave her a headache.

How did the handyman feel after going to the bar?

He was hammered.

Weekend Jokes More Weekend Jokes

What does the neckbeard say when asked what he did last weekend?

M'laundry.

Why do pessimists always think it's the weekend?

Because every day is a sadder-day.