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What do nails like to do on the weekend?

Get hammered.

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Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What did the scientist say at the bar?

I'd like some H20 please.

Which Doctor would you like to see?

Me: I'd like to be able to see all of them. That's why I'm here.

Nail Jokes More Nail Jokes

Why did the elephant paint its nails red?

So it could hide in the strawberry patch.... Have you ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch? No? See, it worked!

How do you stop a baby from crawling round in circles?

Nail its other hand to the floor.

Hammer Jokes More Hammer Jokes

What did the fireman say when he noticed his hammer was on fire?

This is not a drill.

Why did the T-Rex get hammered at noon?

Because he's a Wino-saur!

Weekend Jokes More Weekend Jokes

What does a suicidal teenager do on the weekends?

Hang at home.

Why do pessimists always think it's the weekend?

Because every day is a sadder-day.