What did the pirate say when his wife kept asking him about the steering wheel in his pants?

Yargg! Woman! Stop asking me! You're driving me nuts!

This joke may have profanity.
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What is the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?

About 60 pounds.

What does Santa call his wife at tax time?

A dependent Claus.

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How much does a pirate earing cost?

A buccaneer

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Because there is no quarter for the wicked.

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I better stop Stalin for time and Putin a little more effort.

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A pitchfork

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He lost his Marples.

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It had a SPOILER on it.

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Bartender says, "here, but I’ll need that back in an hour!"

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Human beans

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Why did cavemen drag their women around by the hair?

Because if they dragged them by the ankles, they'd fill up with muck.

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If you lay them just right you can walk on them for years.

Nut Jokes More Nut Jokes

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You can get cereal without nuts.

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Squirrels they're the best at getting nuts out of their shells.

Pant Jokes More Pant Jokes

What's the sharpest thing in the word?

A fart. It goes right through your pants and doesn't leave a hole.

What did the pirate say after he pulled a steering wheel out of his pants?

It's driving me nuts!

Steering Wheel Jokes More Steering Wheel Jokes

What did the pirate with the steering wheel in his pants say?

Argh it's driving me nuts!

What's with the steering wheel?

The pirate says "ARRGGHH! It's drivin' me nuts."