Chinese Jokes

Where do the Chinese study?

In the Pupils republic of China

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Why Chinese vet never hungry?

Dog have rice.

Why is Chinese the best language?

It has the most character.

How many Chinese people does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one but he has to manufacture it first.

What's a Chinese dentist's favorite time?

Tooth Hurty

What did the Chinese vocalist do after smoking some marijuana?

He Shanghai.

How much does a Chinese elephant weigh?

Wonton

What's a Cholo's favorite Chinese food dish?

Chicken chow meng.

What does a Chinese cow say?

Governess(https://translate.google.com/m/translate#en/zh-CN/Governess)

What's a Chinese chef's favorite song?

I believe I can fry.

What's Chinese and climbs the Empire State Building?

Ping Pong

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What do you call a Chinese food truck?

A Wok in the Park

What is the difference between Russian Optimist Pessimist and Realist?

An Optimist learns German. A Pessimist learns Chinese. A Realist learns AK-47.

What do Chinese bears use to cook?

A pan. Duh!

What has two wings and an arrow?

A Chinese telephone

What do you call Chinese soup made by a Mexican?

Juan-ton soup

What is both a short shopping list, and a potential Chinese luxury automobile?

Rolls * Rice

What did the Chinese fisherman say to his at-risk son?

Stay on the junk, and you'll go far.

What's the heaviest Chinese food?

Wonton

What's the best time to visit your Chinese dentist?

Tooth hurty

What do you call a robbery in China?

A Chinese take away!

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What sound does a Chinese cat make?

Mao

What did the Chinese guy say to his wife after her botched plastic surgery?

Honey, why the wrong face

Why should you never drink German beer with Chinese food?

An hour later you're hungry for power.

How do Chinese parents pick a name for their child?

Throw an aluminum pan down the stairs.

How did the Chinese atheist get to heaven?

Jesus said to him "Behold! I am risen!" and he said "That's nice I don't bereave you."

What is goingon?

Nothing much, just hungry for some Chinese food

How do Chinese pick a name for their newborn?

They kick a Can

What do you call a Chinese millionare?

Ching-Ching.

What would you get if you crossed the Easter Bunny with Chinese food?

Hop suey!

What did the Chinese cowboy say?

Nii haw!

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How do you make the best Americanized Chinese food?

Like Tso.

How many of you believe in psychokinesis?

Raise my hand. - Taken from local Chinese joint fortune cookie.

How much does a Chinese dumpling weigh?

It weighs *Won-ton*

What would happen if all Chinese people jumped off a chair, all at the same time?

I don't know either, but you would need a reeeally big chair!

How do the Chinese vote?

With their erections.

Why don't the Chinese have casinos?

Because they don't like Tibet

Why did the Chinese chicken cross the road?

The eggrolled

What do Chinese people do when they have an erection?

They vote

What does a Chinese bear fry eggs in?

A pan, duh!

Why do Chinese workers work so hard?

Because their companies are always short-staffed.

Why do Chinese people love NY?

Because they heard we sell hotdogs for $0.75 each.

How many Chinese workers does it take to make a Smartphone?

I dunno. Ask the kids.

What do you call a Chinese Jehovah's witness?

Ding Dong

What is Captain Picard's favorite Chinese takeout?

Make it Tso!

What do you call a Chinese poker face?

A mahjong face

How does the average Chinese worker find a new job?

ChinkedIn.

How heavy is a Chinese dumpling?

Wonton.

What do Asians meeting up at their favorite Chinese take-out say?

Where my dogs at

What does Korean food taste like?

Chinese food.

Where do Chinese people find work?

On ChinkedIn of course. (I know the pun is racist but I had to share. Sorry.)

What do you call a Chinese orange?

A Mandarin

How does a Chinese family name their children?

They throw 3-9 pots and pans down a flight of stairs.

What's a let down Chinese lobster called?

A crushed Asian

What does a Chinese restaurant serve for Easter?

Coloured eggrolls!

Why couldn't the Chinese geologist find a date?

He was vehemently opposed to wrong rocks on the beach.

What did the Chinese man say when he found out his mother died?

I can't bereave it!

Why didn't King Kong go to Hong Kong?

He didn't like Chinese food.

Where do Chinese people live?

Chinatown

What did the Chinese man say when ophthalmologist told him he had a cataract?

No, I have a Rincoln Continental!*

How does a Chinese cat say hello?

Mi Hao.

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Failure Jokes More Failure Jokes

Why was the Chinese Journey cover band a failure?

Their only hit was Don't Stop Bereaving.

What do you call an unborn child that is excessively ready to accept failure?

A defetus

Font Jokes More Font Jokes

Why did the architect take so long to get started on his church blueprints?

He couldn't decide what font to use.

Why are the "sans" family of fonts so serious?

No one wants to be comic sans.

Lobster Jokes More Lobster Jokes

Why was the lobster arrested?

Because he was always pinching things.

What did the man say when the lobster gave him food poisoning?

I'm not letting you cook dinner again

Bereave Jokes More Bereave Jokes

What did the Japanese Journey covers band sing at the funeral?

Don't stop, bereaving!

What did Naruto say at his mentor'a funeral?

Bereave it.

Vegetarian Jokes More Vegetarian Jokes

What do vegetarian zombies eat?

Grrrrrainnnnnssss.

How do you know if someone is a vegetarian?

He is going to tell you.

Food Jokes More Food Jokes

Why do Americans deep fry so much food?

A. They love OIL

Why are you giving a mouse any food?

That's unsanitary.

Syndrome Jokes More Syndrome Jokes

What is the syndrome that endangers the dental well-being of over-anxious or stressed-out LGBT's?

Brucism

Why did Ben seem so down?

Because he has down syndrome

Stop Bereave Jokes More Stop Bereave Jokes

Why was the Chinese Journey cover band a failure?

Their only hit was Don't Stop Bereaving.

What song did Kim Jong Il request be played at his funeral?

Journey - Don't Stop Bereaving.