How do magicians retire?

They seem to just disappear.

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Retire Jokes More Retire Jokes

What did the circus owner say to the human-cannonball when the he wanted to retire?

How will I ever find another performer of your caliber? (Source: a dad on Thanksgiving)

What did they call Postman Pat after he retired?

Pat

Magician Jokes More Magician Jokes

What did the hippopotamus do to the magician?

He hippo-tized him!

What's the difference between a chorus line of blondes and a magician?

A magician has a cunning array of stunts.

Disappear Jokes More Disappear Jokes

What's it called when you commission someone to make an animated image for your girlfriend but he pockets the money and disappears?

A gf gif gift grift

Where are the posters?

WIFE: THEY JUST DISAPPEARED! In other room *cat is furiously stuffing missing dog posters into paper shredder*