Why can't the NSA leaker leave Russia?

Because he's Snow'd-in!

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Why is an executioner a terrible high-fiver?

He always leaves you hanging

Why couldn't the whistleblower leave his driveway?

Because he was snowed in.

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What did the whistleblower say after the blizzard in Russia?

I'm Snowden!

Why didn't Ukraine go to war with Russia yet?

They were Putin up with him.

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What's the NSA's favourite game?

I spy.

What difference does an "A" make?

Between NASA and NSA--it's astronomical.