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Why can't the NSA leaker leave Russia?

Because he's Snow'd-in!

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What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?

They both leave little boys rooms with empty sacks.

What did granny say after leaving her handbag on a bus?

Allahu Akbar!" I'm going to hell for this.

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Where did Nicholas II of Russia get his coffee?

Tsarbucks.

What did Russia say to Ukraine after the conflict was over?

Cry me a peninsula.

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What did the NSA agent say when the blizzard hit?

Looks like we're snowed in.

Why didn't the NSA request AT&T's phone records?

Because they can't monitor all those dropped calls!