Mistress Jokes

Why did Einstein stop seeing his mistress?

She fell in love and he didn't anticipate entanglement

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

What the Girlfriend, the Mistress and the Wife say Girlfriend: Are you done already?

Mistress: Are you done yet Wife: Beige... I think I'll paint the ceiling beige...

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between a 3D modeller and a gamer?

Ask them what a 3Ds is.

What's the difference between North Korea amd South Korea?

North Koreans have no Seoul. Thought of this very early in the morning waiting to board a plane.

Ceiling Jokes More Ceiling Jokes

What do you get if you cross a spider and an elephant?

I'm not sure but if you see one walking across the ceiling then run before it collapses!

How do you know if there’s an elephant under your bed?

Your head hits the ceiling!

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

Why did Timmy fall off the swings?

Didn't have any hands.. (the real punch line) Knock knock.. Who's there Not Timmy..

What happens when you wear radioactive Russian underpants?

Cher nob'll fall out.

Islamic Jokes More Islamic Jokes

Where does the Islamic botanist go to pray?

In the Mossque.

What do they call their mistresses in Islamic countries?

Haram Baes

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What do you think you're going to be doing in 5 years?

Me: I dont know, I dont have 2020 vision

What pets think about their owners?

A dog: He feeds me, takes care about me, gives me shelter... He is God. A cat: He feeds me, takes care about me, gives me shelter... I am God.

Pound Jokes More Pound Jokes

How do dog catchers get paid?

By the Pound!

What do an anorexic girl and the UK have in common?

They both lose pounds really fast.

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

How do you stop bad singing?

A pitchfork

How do you stop your bacon from curling in the pan?

Take their little stones and brooms away!

Definition Jokes More Definition Jokes

What's the definition of a healthy virgin?

"One who has never been bed-ridden!"

How many philosophers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It depends on the definition of lightbulb.