What do you do when your wife starts smoking?

Slow down and apply lube

This joke may have profanity.
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How did Mr Cheese paint his wife?

He Double Gloucester.

How are a grenade and a wife similar?

If you pull the ring off it, the house is gone

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What happens when you smoke pot in Saudi Arabia?

You get stoned.

What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

Slow down, and possibly use a lubricant

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How do you get your girlfriend to stop smoking?

Slow down and use some lube

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What sort of a car has your dad got?

I can't remember the name. I think it starts with T. Really - Ours only starts with gas.

How do you get two whales in a car?

Start in England and drive West.

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What did Keanu Reeves say to slow down his horse?

Whoa.

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Slow down and use some lubricant.

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How do apply for a job at the NSA?

You make a private phone call to anyone else, and submit your application.

What kind of cologne applies itself?

Elon Musk