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How are a grenade and a wife similar?

If you pull the ring off it, the house is gone

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

How can you tell if your wife left you?

You get laid the same amount of times but the dishes start to pile up. Hey now!

What candy do you give your wife before you get married?

Pre-nup brittle.

House Jokes More House Jokes

What do you see?

Patient: A house and Me: Wrong it's Batman. Ok this one Patient: I se Me: Nope. Batman again.

What did Russians used to light their houses with before candles?

Electricity.

Pull Jokes More Pull Jokes

Why did Frosty the Snowman pull down his pants?

He heard the snow-blower was coming.

What's the difference between me and my new couch?

The couch pulls out...

Grenade Jokes More Grenade Jokes

How are a grenade and a wife similar?

If you pull the ring off it, the house is gone

How do you know when a grenade is thrown by a blonde?

When you can pull the pin and throw it back

Ring Jokes More Ring Jokes

How did the phone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.

Who played Gandalf in the Islamic version of Lord of the Rings?

Syrian Mckellen