What do hand grenades and wives have in common?

Remove the ring and your house is gone.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What did the musician say to his wife when he went out to the supermarket?

I'm going Chopin, I'll be Bach in a minuet.

Why do men die before their wives?

Because we want to!

House Jokes More House Jokes

What does a fire, flood, earthquake, tornado, hurricane, and a wife have in common?

Sooner or later, one of them is probably going to get your house.

What did the doctor say to the man who walked off the roof of his house?

I don't think you understand the gravity of the situation.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?

I don't know. He still hasn't opened his gifts.

What do you call it when the new US president waves his hand?

A microwave.

Remove Jokes More Remove Jokes

How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. The light bulb you remove and the light bulb you replace it with.

What did the doctor do after he finished reading the book?

He removed the appendix!

Ring Jokes More Ring Jokes

How did the phone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.

Who should have played Bilbo Baggins in Lord of the Rings?

Bruce Willis. Because old hobbits die hard.

Hand Grenade Jokes More Hand Grenade Jokes

What do you get when you throw a hand grenade into a French bathroom?

Linoleum Blown Apart

What do women and hand grenades have in common?

When you pull the ring off, your house goes away