What do you tell your wife with two black eyes?

Nothing, you already told her twice.

This joke may have profanity.
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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why did Santa want a divorce?

His wife made sure he only came once a year.

What's the difference between life and wife's rant?

Life eventually ends.

Black Eye Jokes More Black Eye Jokes

Where'd you get that black eye?

Me: My girlfriend gave it to me. Him: I thought your girlfriend was out of town. Me: I did too...

What do you say to a girl with a black eye?

Nothing. You already told her.