Cannibal Jokes

What did the Cannibal get when he was late to dinner?

They gave him the cold shoulder.

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Why did the cannibal go to KFC?

He heard it was finger licking good.

What do cannibals put in their soup?

Ramen! Before you judge harshly, I would like to state that this was invented by a six year old, all on his own, no coaching.

Why did the cannibal get banned from the hospital?

He kept trying the doctors patients(patience)

What department do you not want to end up at in a corporation run by cannibals?

Human Resources.

What do you call someone who walks into a building full of people?

A cannibal.

What happens to the cannibal who is late to the party?

He gets the cold shoulder.

What do you give a cannibal late for Sunday lunch?

The cold shoulder

Why do cannibals never go hungry?

Because they can make themselves dinner.

What do cannibals call family members they love?

Bae-Kin

What has 4 legs in the morning, two at lunch, and three in the evening?

A cannibal

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What's the definition of a cannibal?

Some who goes into a restaurant and orders a waiter!

Why did the cannibal live on his own?

He was fed up with other people.

What drink does a cannibal have after a long day?

A handshake!

What do cannibals and politicians have in common?

They both enjoy handshakes.

What did the Cannibal get for dinner after offending his wife?

The cold shoulder.

What do you get when you cross bears with salmon?

Cannibals.

Why does mama aardvark call her husband a cannibal?

Because he ate his ant for dinner!

What is a Cannibal?

Someone who is fed up with people.

What food are you able to can?

Cannibal (can able) food.

Why did the cannibal leave the restaurant?

Because he got cold feet.

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Why was the cannibal fined by the judge?

He was caught poaching.

What did the cannibal have for lunch?

Baked beings (beans).

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What do you call a blond with one strand of hair dyed black?

A glimmer of hope

What do you call two ninjas named Charlie, stranded outside on a cold night?

Numchucks.

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Why can't an Italian snake talk?

Because it doesn't have any hands.

How do IT technicians prefer to be paid?

Cache in hand.

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Why did the Irishman only put 239 beans in his soup?

Because one more would have been too farty.

What did the author say when he added a chapter about flour to a story about soup?

The plot thickens!

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What do you call food between two slices of bread?

A sandwich

Why was the feminist picnic cancelled?

Because nobody made sandwiches

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What do people store their fondest memories in?

A nostaljar.

What do you call a people who serve in Thailand?

Thai Fighters

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How many states of matter are there?

5: solids, liquids, gases, plasma, and black lives

What state has the smallest soft drinks?

Minisoda

Bum Jokes More Bum Jokes

What do you call Tums in suppository form?

Bums

What did the man who invented the bum shaking machine realize when he turned it on?

It twerked.

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What walks on 8 legs until it's one years old, 4 legs until it's twenty years old and then 2 legs for the remainder of it's life?

Fred and George Weasley.

What's the difference between a four-year-old and a bag of cocaine?

There's no way Eric Clapton would let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window!