What's the best part of an asynchronous dog?

It's non barking! Hopefully some software people get this one

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What's the best part about TCP jokes?

I get to keep telling them until you get them.

What is the best part about duct tape?

It can turn "no, no, no!" Into "mmm, mmm, mmm"

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How many vegans does it take to change a lightbulb?

One. Vegans have the same capability of changing a lightbulb as non-vegans.

What did the clerk say to the customer who tried to buy a candy bar with plastic quarters?

This is non-cents!