What's the difference.... Between my girlfriend and santa?

Some people actually believe santa exist.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between an accordion and an onion?

No one cries when you cut up an accordion

Whats the difference between a fish and a mountain goat?

Fish muck about in fountains

Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

What happens when Santa get stuck in a chimney?

He gets claustrophobic!

What body regulates the welfare of Santa's workers?

The Elf and Saftey Executive.

People Jokes More People Jokes

Why do people regard the middle east as the holy land?

Because they're constantly drilling for oil.

Why do people always talk in absolutes?

I would never do that. It's the worst.

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What's worse?

Receiving a text from your girlfriend saying that you're breaking up or receiving a second text after saying that it was supposed to be for someone else

What did the lesbian vampire say to her girlfriend?

See you next month!

Believe Jokes More Believe Jokes

Why do health magazines targeting hypochondriacs have so much trouble maintaining subscriber levels?

Because none of their readers believe them when they receive a warning that it's their final issue.

How does a CANDU reactor work?

By believing in itself.