How can you tell if a man has a high sperm count?

You have to chew before you swallow!

This joke may have profanity.

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What did the man get for winning the muscle relaxing contest?

Atrophy!

How do you separate the men from the boys in the Navy?

With a crowbar.

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What did the doctor tell the panda bear after the results of his child's paternity test came back?

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the results are a bit grizzly.

How do you know when someone is gluten free?

Don't worry, they'll tell you. "Exit stage right...."

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How do you the difference between a blond man and a blond woman?

The blond woman will have a higher sperm count.

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What kind of gum do astronauts chew?

Hubble Bubble

What did the cow say to the hay?

I chews you

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Why aren't lions cannibals?

They can't swallow their pride.

Why did the emo swallow an alarm clock?

So he could wake up inside.