Groom Jokes

Why didn't the bride and groom exchange their wedding vows?

TLDR

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What did Mike Tyson call the groom with cold feet?

A Puthy

Why did the groom want his bride to wear white?

He wanted his new dish washer to match his fridge.

What's the difference between a horse and a 13 year old boy?

The horse knows when I'm grooming him.

Why did the bride and groom get married in a hot tub?

So that the bride wouldn't get cold feet.

Why did the groom ask his bride to wear white?

Because he wanted his dishwasher to match the fridge and stove

What do you call a racing horse that's never been groomed?

Furlong

Why did Yewtree arrest the husband-to-be at the celebrity wedding of the year?

They wanted to make sure he'd never been a groom.

What do you mean?

Well she turned up the Minster turned up but the groom didn't!

How do you tell which is the Groom at a Polish wedding?

He's the one with the CLEAN bowling shirt.

Why was Linda so mad on her wedding day?

Her soon to be husband forgot how to groom.

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What products do you use for grooming?

She asked me. Her face looked quite taken aback when I said, "Facebook"

What products do I use for grooming?

She was a bit taken aback when I replied, "Facebook."

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Hiss Jokes More Hiss Jokes

What do you call the loser in a hissing scratching cat fight?

Claude

What did the snake priest say to the snake groom after the marriage?

You may now "hiss" the bride.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know that a dog is a man's best friend?

Take your girl and your dog, and lock them in the back of a car, return in 5 hours, which one do you think will be happy to see you?

What did the one banana say to the other banana who had his feelings hurt?

I know that peel.

Linda Jokes More Linda Jokes

What's that awful thing called... M: ... J: You wake up with it after you drink?

M: Linda.

How did Paul McCartney get Linda pregnant?

C Moon

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

What do French athletes wear?

Jaques straps

When young Clark Kent was wearing a cape in the yard, who was he pretending to be?

Liberace

Tldr Jokes More Tldr Jokes

Why didn't the bride and groom exchange their wedding vows?

TLDR

What did the Redditor say when... What did Redditor say when asked why he failed his PSAT test?

TL;DR

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What is the appropriate response when your cat tells you a joke?

You've gotta be kitten me. You can SPEAK?!?

What are the keys made of?

Me Uhh.. Rhino appears behind me Tell him Kyle

Forgot Jokes More Forgot Jokes

What did the dementia patient say to the other dementia patient?

I forgot.

How did your mom know you hadn't washed your face?

I forgot to wet the soap.

Wedding Jokes More Wedding Jokes

Why couldn't the two melons go to Las Vegas for their wedding?

Because they're cantaloupes.

Why did the fruits take out a $30,000 loan for their wedding?

Because they cantaloupe.