Groom Jokes

Why didn't the bride and groom exchange their wedding vows?

TLDR

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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What did Mike Tyson call the groom with cold feet?

A Puthy

Why did the groom want his bride to wear white?

He wanted his new dish washer to match his fridge.

What's the difference between a horse and a 13 year old boy?

The horse knows when I'm grooming him.

Why did the bride and groom get married in a hot tub?

So that the bride wouldn't get cold feet.

Why did the groom ask his bride to wear white?

Because he wanted his dishwasher to match the fridge and stove

What do you call a racing horse that's never been groomed?

Furlong

How can you tell if a groom is Polish?

He would be the one with the clean bowling shirt.

Why did Yewtree arrest the husband-to-be at the celebrity wedding of the year?

They wanted to make sure he'd never been a groom.

What do you mean?

Well she turned up the Minster turned up but the groom didn't!

What happened at the cannibal's wedding party?

They toasted the bride and groom.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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How do you tell which is the Groom at a Polish wedding?

He's the one with the CLEAN bowling shirt.

Why was Linda so mad on her wedding day?

Her soon to be husband forgot how to groom.

What products do you use for grooming?

She asked me. Her face looked quite taken aback when I said, "Facebook"

What products do I use for grooming?

She was a bit taken aback when I replied, "Facebook."

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Linda Jokes More Linda Jokes

Why was Linda so mad on her wedding day?

Her soon to be husband forgot how to groom.

How did Paul McCartney get Linda pregnant?

C Moon

Forgot Jokes More Forgot Jokes

What did the dementia patient say to the other dementia patient?

I forgot.

What's the worst thing about living with Alzheimer's?

I forgot

Dishwasher Jokes More Dishwasher Jokes

How do you turn a dishwasher into a snow thrower?

Give her a shovel.

How do you fix the dishwasher?

Smack her.

Arrest Jokes More Arrest Jokes

Why a giraffe got arrested while driving?

Coz he was high

What did Abe Lincoln say when he was arrested?

I'm-in-a-cent!

Bride Jokes More Bride Jokes

Why does a bride wear white on her wedding day?

So the dishwasher matches the appliances

What does a Polish groom give his bride for their wedding that is long and hard?

A new last name.

Polish Jokes More Polish Jokes

What happened to the Polish dog?

He chewed off 3 legs and was still caught in the trap

How do you sink a polish war ship?

You put it in water

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

What do mosquitoes think of people who wear bug spray?

They are just OFF-full

Who is Thor?

A very worn-out thuper hero. (An excerpt from Brother Time and the Turtle: More Excuses for Jokes: )

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

What would you do if i won the lottery?

Wife: I'd take half and leave. Husband: Well here's $6 and you can start packing anytime now.

Why does mama aardvark call her husband a cannibal?

Because he ate his ant for dinner!