Groom Jokes

Why did the bride and groom get married in a hot tub?

So that the bride wouldn't get cold feet.

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Why did the groom ask his bride to wear white?

Because he wanted his dishwasher to match the fridge and stove

What do you call a racing horse that's never been groomed?

Furlong

Why was Linda so mad on her wedding day?

Her soon to be husband forgot how to groom.

What products do you use for grooming?

She asked me. Her face looked quite taken aback when I said, "Facebook"

What products do I use for grooming?

She was a bit taken aback when I replied, "Facebook."

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Hiss Jokes More Hiss Jokes

What did the snake say to the cornered rat?

Hiss is the end of the line for you!

What do snakes write on the bottom of their letters?

With love and hisses.

Arrest Jokes More Arrest Jokes

What did the Officer say after arresting the crooked cook?

I just booked a cook for cooking the books.

What would you do if you had to arrest your mother?

New Recruit: Call for backup!

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

What do Jedis wear to Oktoberfest?

Vader-hosen!

What type of pants does Mario wear?

Denim, denim, denim.

Horse Jokes More Horse Jokes

Who did the breeder call when his horse was possessed by an evil spirit?

An exhorsist!

Why was the man sued by his horse?

For palomino-money!

Wedding Jokes More Wedding Jokes

Why can't melons have shotgun weddings?

They cantaloupe

What's the difference between a wedding and a funeral?

One less drunk.

Bride Jokes More Bride Jokes

Who's there! Bride! Bride who?

Bride and Prejudice!

Why did the bride and groom get married in a hot tub?

So that the bride wouldn't get cold feet.

Marry Jokes More Marry Jokes

Why was the fruit really upset he had to get married in a big church?

Oc Because he cantaloupe.

How do rain drops marry?

They coalesce

13 Year Old Jokes More 13 Year Old Jokes

What do you call a depressed gang member?

An emoji... Emo g, get it? From my 13 year old son

How do I know he was French, do you ask?

He went oui, oui.