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What can you do if you don't like the Prelude in C Sharp Minor?

Turn Rachmanin off.

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What did the egg say when it got turned up?

Om-lit

When is a lion not a lion?

When he turns into his cage!

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What do you call it when the girl you like likes you back?

Imagination

Why did Shakespeare refuse to join the army?

He didn't like the phrase fire at will!