Why are there no pictures of Ted Cruz holding a baby?

They always turn out blurry from him shaking them.

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Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

What is a centipedes's favorite Beatle song?

I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand...

What happened when the barman died?

The police held an inn-quest

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

What happened to the man who turned into an insect?

He just beetled off!

Where do you think you're going at this hour?

Gun hangs head & turns around

Picture Jokes More Picture Jokes

How did the artist paint a picture?

Easel-y.

How does Santa Claus take pictures?

With his North Pole-aroid.

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

Why can't pencils have babies?

Because they have rubbers on their end.

What did the mother snake say to her crying baby?

Stop crying and viper your nose!

Shake Jokes More Shake Jokes

What do two people with Parkinson's disease do when they meet for the first time?

They shake hands.

How was the snow globe feeling after the storm?

A little shaken.

Ted Cruz Jokes More Ted Cruz Jokes

What do you call a foreign born communist running for President?

Ted Cruz

Why do people take such an instant dislike to Ted Cruz?

It saves so much time.