March Madness Sale - 25% Off

Why are there no pictures of Ted Cruz holding a baby?

They always turn out blurry from him shaking them.

Previous Random Joke Next
Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

What do you get when Hulk holds the American Flag?

The Star Spangled Banner!

How many IBM CPUs does it take to perform a logical right shift?

32. One to hold the bits and 31 to push the register.

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

What's the Best thing about Duct Tape?

It turns Noooo! Noooo! Noooo!......to..... Mmmmm, Mmmmm, Mmmmm.

What did the man who invented the bum shaking machine realize when he turned it on?

It twerked.

Picture Jokes More Picture Jokes

What do you call someone who puts a picture of themselves in a locket?

Independent

How did the artist paint a picture?

Easel-y.

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

How did the doctor determine that the baby was affected by the Zika virus?

It was a no brainer.

Whose baby was it?

The elephant's!

Shake Jokes More Shake Jokes

What lies on the bottom of the sea and shakes?

A nervous wreck! I first heard this at xmas 1952 (64 years ago) and it still makes me smile.

What's Michael J Fox's favorite song?

Shake It Off

Ted Cruz Jokes More Ted Cruz Jokes

Why do people take such an instant dislike to Ted Cruz?

It saves so much time.

How do you speak to a deaf Ted Cruz?

Use zodiac signs