Ted Cruz Jokes

Why do people take such an instant dislike to Ted Cruz?

It saves so much time.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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What do you call a foreign born communist running for President?

Ted Cruz

What's the difference between the Devil and Ted Cruz?

The Devil has standards.

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Japanese Jokes More Japanese Jokes

Why do the Japanese have squinty eyes?

Becuase atomic bombs are bright.

What does a Japanese man do when there's an erection?

He votes!

Achieve Jokes More Achieve Jokes

Why couldn't the effective vitamin supplement achieve true happiness?

He was too super fish oil.

What's the best part about being cremated?

Finally achieving a smokin' hot body.

Save Jokes More Save Jokes

Why is Hannibal so rich?

Well, he save on groceries.

Why are churches never broke?

Because Jesus saves.

Bear Jokes More Bear Jokes

Why don't bears wear socks?

They have bear feet

Who do you think was sent to cover the story of the baby lion born in the zoo?

A cub reporter.

Shake Jokes More Shake Jokes

What shakes at the bottom of the ocean?

A nervous wreck.

How was the snow globe feeling after the storm?

A little shaken.

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles?

Nail its other hand to the floor.

Why won't Arnold Schwarzenegger upgrade to windows 10?

Because: he still loves vista,baby!

Swing Jokes More Swing Jokes

Why did Sandra fall off the swing?

Because she has no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there Not Sandra.

Why did Sara fall out of the swing?

Because she didn't have any arms. Knock Knock..who's there..Not Sara.

Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

How many Freudians does it take to change a lightbulb?

One to unscrew it, and one to hold the ladder.

Why is the Force like duct tape?

It has a dark side, a light side, and it holds the universe together.