Ted Cruz Jokes

How do you speak to a deaf Ted Cruz?

Use zodiac signs

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Why do people take such an instant dislike to Ted Cruz?

It saves so much time.

What do Ted Cruz and a tenage girl's bedroom have in common?

Credit to

What do you call a foreign born communist running for President?

Ted Cruz

What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Ted Cruz?

Heidi cannot swing a golf club.

What's the difference between the Devil and Ted Cruz?

The Devil has standards.

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Why is Karl Marx a fan of the Galactic Empire?

He was born ina 1818.

What is the name of a taxi service for bears?

Ubear.

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What if Lady Gaga was half Irish, half Japanese?

Rady O'Gaga

What did the salmon say to his shy Japanese girlfriend?

Don't be koi.

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What do you call a picture of Simon Pegg's brother?

JPEG

How did the artist paint a picture?

Easel-y.

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Why do people take such an instant dislike to Ted Cruz?

It saves so much time.

Why isn't the guy who wrote "Danger Zone" and the Saved by the Bell theme very active on social media?

He forgot his Loggins

Devil Jokes More Devil Jokes

Why does it take so long when Satan is in front of you in line at the post office?

Because the devil takes many forms.

How does the devil measure his drugs?

In pentagrams

Achieve Jokes More Achieve Jokes

Why couldn't the effective vitamin supplement achieve true happiness?

He was too super fish oil.

What's the best part about being cremated?

Finally achieving a smokin' hot body.

Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

How do you depress a room full of geeks?

Hold the door! I'm a leaf on the wind!

How many Google plus users does it take to change a lightbulb?

All of them actually. Two to hold the ladder and one to change the lightbulb.

Zodiac Sign Jokes More Zodiac Sign Jokes

What's your zodiac sign?

Tyrannosaurus. -But that's not even a real sign. -None of the zodiac signs are real.

How do you speak to a deaf Ted Cruz?

Use zodiac signs