Ted Cruz Jokes

How do you speak to a deaf Ted Cruz?

Use zodiac signs

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Why do people take such an instant dislike to Ted Cruz?

It saves so much time.

What do Ted Cruz and a tenage girl's bedroom have in common?

Credit to

What do you call a foreign born communist running for President?

Ted Cruz

What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Ted Cruz?

Heidi cannot swing a golf club.

Why are there no pictures of Ted Cruz holding a baby?

They always turn out blurry from him shaking them.

What's the difference between the Devil and Ted Cruz?

The Devil has standards.

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Zodiac Sign Jokes More Zodiac Sign Jokes

How can you ask a Mexican if their zodiac sign is leo?

Julio

What's your zodiac sign?

Tyrannosaurus. -But that's not even a real sign. -None of the zodiac signs are real.

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

What do you call it when you drown a baby in soda?

Infantacide

How are babies and strippers alike?

They're fun to play with but I wouldn't want to take one home

Election Jokes More Election Jokes

Whats the difference between news of the US elections and Madeleine McCann?

News of the elections is getting old.

Who wins the election?

America.

Bear Jokes More Bear Jokes

What kind of wine do bears drink?

Maulbec

What kind of cheese do you use to entice a bear down from a tree?

Camembert!

People Jokes More People Jokes

What do people from West Virginia do on Halloween?

Pump-Kin

How do you win an election?

By having people believe that you've won an election.

Shake Jokes More Shake Jokes

How do epileptics greet people?

They shake.

Why did NBC add the Michael J. Fox Show to its line-up?

To shake things up on network tv.

Deaf Jokes More Deaf Jokes

How do you speak to a deaf Ted Cruz?

Use zodiac signs

Why did the programmer visit the city tour?

Because they were handing out guides for the deaf.

Achieve Jokes More Achieve Jokes

Why couldn't the effective vitamin supplement achieve true happiness?

He was too super fish oil.

What's the difference between Hillary and Eva Braun?

One achieved fame and significance solely because she was married to a charismatic politician. The other was Hilter's wife.