Ted Cruz Jokes

How do you speak to a deaf Ted Cruz?

Use zodiac signs

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Why do people take such an instant dislike to Ted Cruz?

It saves so much time.

What do Ted Cruz and an impotent Japanese man have in common?

Neither can achieve an election

What did Ted Cruz's wife get after being elbowed by him?

A Ted Bruz

What do Ted Cruz and a tenage girl's bedroom have in common?

Credit to

What do you call a foreign born communist running for President?

Ted Cruz

What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Ted Cruz?

Heidi cannot swing a golf club.

Why are there no pictures of Ted Cruz holding a baby?

They always turn out blurry from him shaking them.

What's the difference between the Devil and Ted Cruz?

The Devil has standards.

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What can relax you and drown you at the same time?

A one-hour facial.

Why do some writers have a hard time graphing equations?

Because they spend too much time with the x-position

Golf Club Jokes More Golf Club Jokes

Why did the Aggie take a golf club and a baseball glove storm chasing with him?

To golf the golf ball size hail and catch the baseball size hail

Why don't they drill holes in golf clubs?

Cause then there would be a hole in one!

Zodiac Sign Jokes More Zodiac Sign Jokes

What's your zodiac sign?

Tyrannosaurus. -But that's not even a real sign. -None of the zodiac signs are real.

How can you ask a Mexican if their zodiac sign is leo?

Julio

Credit Jokes More Credit Jokes

How many redditors does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to screw it in and one to take credit for it.

Why did the popular kittens not want to hang out with the kitten with a prosthesis?

OC It was an obvious faux paw. Credit: My wife's a dork.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

How did the Chihuahua disappear on the road?

It was using a hide-'n-go-seekle!

Whats a mile long and has a thousand arms?

The train to Auschwitz. Some German guy i used to play Path of Exile with told it to me.

Picture Jokes More Picture Jokes

What did the wall ask the picture?

All together now!) ***"How's it hangin' "*** Skip

Why are there no pictures of Ted Cruz holding a baby?

They always turn out blurry from him shaking them.

Save Jokes More Save Jokes

Who is saved?

America

How do french thank who save their files?

Merci backup.

Devil Jokes More Devil Jokes

How do you hit those high notes?

Adam Levine: I sold my soul to the devil. Interviewer: Excuse me Adam Levine: Practice.

How do you know the devil is white?

Because he owns hell, he doesn't work for hell.