Ted Cruz Jokes

Why do people take such an instant dislike to Ted Cruz?

It saves so much time.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

What do you call a foreign born communist running for President?

Ted Cruz

What's the difference between the Devil and Ted Cruz?

The Devil has standards.

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Speak Jokes More Speak Jokes

Why cant we interpret what frogs are saying?

They only speak in Morse-toad!

Why did the librarian hush the mime?

Because actions speak louder than words.

Elbow Jokes More Elbow Jokes

How do you feel now?

Me: With my elbows

Why is it called the "funny bone" when you hit your elbow on something and it tingles?

Because it's humerus.

President Jokes More President Jokes

What would you call the Easter egg roll if Bernie Sanders became president?

Weekend at Bernie's.

What one noun, verb, and US President sums up a scientist's hopes and fears?

Grant.

Swing Jokes More Swing Jokes

What is the difference between Spiderman and Superman?

Peter Parker can swing a web. Clark Kent.

Why did Steve fall off the swing?

Because he was a potato!

Bear Jokes More Bear Jokes

How are one out of three American Boats born?

By Sea-Section.

When a programmer is born, what are their first words?

Hello world!

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Why are burglars such good tennis players?

Because they spend such a lot of their time in courts!

What is the difference between a guitar player and government bonds?

Government bonds mature over time and earn money

Zodiac Sign Jokes More Zodiac Sign Jokes

What's your zodiac sign?

Tyrannosaurus. -But that's not even a real sign. -None of the zodiac signs are real.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What did the kitty say when it ran for mayor??

Now, that was one politi-cat debate!

Why was the Doctor screaming angrily at his secretary?

He ran out of patients.