Ted Cruz Jokes

How do you speak to a deaf Ted Cruz?

Use zodiac signs

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Why do people take such an instant dislike to Ted Cruz?

It saves so much time.

What do Ted Cruz and a tenage girl's bedroom have in common?

Credit to

What do you call a foreign born communist running for President?

Ted Cruz

What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Ted Cruz?

Heidi cannot swing a golf club.

Why are there no pictures of Ted Cruz holding a baby?

They always turn out blurry from him shaking them.

What's the difference between the Devil and Ted Cruz?

The Devil has standards.

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Elbow Jokes More Elbow Jokes

Why is it called the "funny bone" when you hit your elbow on something and it tingles?

Because it's humerus.

Why did the dog have a gleam in his eye?

Someone bumped his elbow while he was brushing his teeth.

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

How are babies and strippers alike?

They're fun to play with but I wouldn't want to take one home

What kind of bird brings no babies?

A swallow.

Speak Jokes More Speak Jokes

What language do birds speak?

Squackhili

What did the horse say to Santa?

Nothing, horses can not speak.

Devil Jokes More Devil Jokes

Why does the Devil hate the holiday Season?

Because he gets so many letters from dyslexic children.

Why did the devil buy so many shoes?

He wanted their soles.

Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

What did the man say while holding a square clock?

I'm holding Time Square!

When are jousting tournaments most commonly held?

Knight time

Golf Club Jokes More Golf Club Jokes

What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Ted Cruz?

Heidi cannot swing a golf club.

Why did the Aggie take a golf club and a baseball glove storm chasing with him?

To golf the golf ball size hail and catch the baseball size hail

Save Jokes More Save Jokes

Why wasn't the son of God worried when Microsoft Word crashed while he was writing his term paper?

Because Jesus saves.

Which Jedi can save PDF files?

Adobe Wan Kenobi

Election Jokes More Election Jokes

What does the result of this election and Netflix have in common?

Orange is the new Black

Why couldn't Hillary win the election?

Women only win.7 votes for every one a man wins.