What's the Russian word for water?

Vodka

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What's the Russian royalty's favorite type of fish?

Czar-dines!

How did the man get stuck at the Russian airport?

He got snowden.

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What is trees' preferred drug?

Water. It helps them get high.

Where is the water main?

So I turned on the tap & said, "Right here, main."

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How do Russian sprinters train?

They put a bottle of vodka 100 meters away from them.

What do you call an Arnold Palmer with vodka?

A John Daly

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What's the Russian word for water?

Vodka

What's the Russian word for Internet outage?

Internjet