Vodka Jokes

How do Russian sprinters train?

They put a bottle of vodka 100 meters away from them.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

$19.99

What's the Russian word for water?

Vodka

What brand of vodka does a Canadian drink?

Grey Moose

What do you call an Arnold Palmer with vodka?

A John Daly

What did the bartender day to the man who was drinking his vodka to fast?

Stop "Russian"

What's the big deal about Jesus turning water into wine?

I turned MY student loans into vodka...

What's a Jedi's favorite brand of vodka?

Skyy. Only Sith deal in Absolut.

Why don't the jedi drink vodka?

Because only the Sith deal in absolut

You might also enjoy:

Canadian Jokes More Canadian Jokes

How many Canadians does it take to change a light bulb?

Just two. One to politely ask and the other to politely help.

Why don't Canadians do well on Wheel of Fortune?

Because the host gets confused when they say "I'd to buy a vowel eh."

Big Deal Jokes More Big Deal Jokes

Why are we making such a big deal about the wheels on the bus going round and round?

They're wheels.

What's the big deal about Jesus turning water into wine?

I turned MY student loans into vodka...

Shot Jokes More Shot Jokes

What do you call a Car Bomb shot with a shot of Fireball?

A Paul Walker.

Why don't anti-vaxxers hang out in bars?

They're afraid of the shots.

Handle Jokes More Handle Jokes

Why didn't the drummer commit the crime?

He couldn't handle the repercussions.

How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to handle the bulb and 4 to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.

Student Loan Jokes More Student Loan Jokes

Why did the college student ask for a refund on his student loan?

Because his *degree* didn't work!

What's the big deal about Jesus turning water into wine?

I turned MY student loans into vodka...

Freeze Jokes More Freeze Jokes

What was Han Solo's reaction to being taken to the carbon-freezing chamber?

He was petrified.

What do they sing at a snowman's birthday party?

Freeze a jolly good fellow

Wine Jokes More Wine Jokes

What do you call a wine loving horse?

Chardon-neigh.

What kind of wine causes the most accidents?

Shartonnay

Brand Jokes More Brand Jokes

What brand of shoes do chickens wear?

Reebok bok bok

What brand of shoes does a paranoid person wear?

Sketchers