Vodka Jokes

How do Russian sprinters train?

They put a bottle of vodka 100 meters away from them.

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What's the Russian word for water?

Vodka

What brand of vodka does a Canadian drink?

Grey Moose

What is the difference between homeless and vodka?

Vodka does not freeze

What do you call an Arnold Palmer with vodka?

A John Daly

What did the bartender day to the man who was drinking his vodka to fast?

Stop "Russian"

What's the big deal about Jesus turning water into wine?

I turned MY student loans into vodka...

What's a Jedi's favorite brand of vodka?

Skyy. Only Sith deal in Absolut.

Why don't the jedi drink vodka?

Because only the Sith deal in absolut

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What's the Russian word for water?

Vodka

What's the Russian word for Internet outage?

Internjet

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How do the Russian people feel about their government?

They're Putin up with it.

Why did the cosmonaut forget to pack extra underwear?

Because he was Russian.