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How do Russian sprinters train?

They put a bottle of vodka 100 meters away from them.

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Russian Jokes More Russian Jokes

What is the difference between Russian Optimist Pessimist and Realist?

An Optimist learns German. A Pessimist learns Chinese. A Realist learns AK-47.

What's a Russian's favorite golf club?

A putin wedge.

Train Jokes More Train Jokes

Why is a train a bad person to go to the bar with?

Because all he says is "Chug Chug Chug"

Why are dolphins cleverer than humans?

Within 3 hours they can train a man to stand at the side of a pool and feed them fish!

100 Meter Jokes More 100 Meter Jokes

What do you call it when ISIS soldiers run for cover?

100 meter Daesh

What's Isis' favorite race?

The 100-meter daesh. Q: What's Isis' favorite punctuation mark? A: The em-daesh. Q: How much cinnamon does the Isis recipe for gingersnaps call for? A: Just a daesh.

Bottle Jokes More Bottle Jokes

What's better than breaking the seal on a bottle?

Breaking the seal on a rock.

What's the biggest similarity between a bottle of Draino and a Danish stripper?

They both slowly remove clogs.

Vodka Jokes More Vodka Jokes

What's a Jedi's favorite brand of vodka?

Skyy. Only Sith deal in Absolut.

What's the big deal about Jesus turning water into wine?

I turned MY student loans into vodka...