How many egocentrics does it take to change a light-bulb?

Me, and only me!

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How many Gordon Ramseys does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, he lets the knives do the work

How many Buckeye football players does it take to change a lightbulb?

One. But he gets three hours credit.

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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. The light bulb you remove and the light bulb you replace it with.

How many members of Coldplay does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one, but he has to see Radiohead do it first.