How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. The light bulb you remove and the light bulb you replace it with.

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How many forever alone guys does it take to change a light bulb?

One, but he wishes it was two.

How many divorced men does it take to change a light bulb?

No one knows they never keep the house!

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How many Borg does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them.

How many Will Ferrell's does it take to change a light bulb?

One, AND IT'S NOT FUNNY!

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What is the best place for politicians?

Election posters. There they are portable, silent and easy to remove.

What did the reddit admins say to the mods?

This post was removed

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How do you keep a ghoul from biting his nails?

Replace the nails with screws.

Why was the mechanic sad he had to replace a wheel bearing?

It was da-press-in.