How much did the skeleton charge for his excellent legal services?

An arm and a leg.

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Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

What has eight arms and tells the time?

A clocktopus Shoutout to the popper from my Xmas dinner

What do you call a kid with no legs, no arms and an eyepatch?

Names.

Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What is better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics?

Having two legs

How do you call a cow with no legs?

You don't, because cows don't have phones.