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Why does Garfield hate Mondays?

He doesn't have a job.

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Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

Why do feminists hate Apple?

Because they're not PC.

What is something a woman hates about a man but a man would love about a woman?

Premature ejactulation.

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

What Job will Mr Miyagi take on when he retires from Martial Arts?

Plastic Surgeon. Japanese accent "Rax on, Rax off"

Why did Rick Astley get fired from his job at the video store?

Because he refused to rent someone a copy of the Pixar flick "Up".

Monday Jokes More Monday Jokes

What are your plans for Easter?

Husband: Same as Jesus.. Wife: What do you mean Husband:I will disappear on Friday and reappear on Monday!!

How is today Monday?

It was Friday only a few hours ago...