Why does Jesus Jaywalk?

Because he hates crosswalks

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What did Jesus say after he healed the blind man?

Made you look!

Why is Jesus happy people hang pictures of him?

It only takes one nail to put him on a wall.

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Why'd the factory worker hate their job?

Because it was soda pressing.

Why did the dyslexic, Russian astronomer hate the revolution?

He was following the Tsar.