Does this smell like chloroform to you
He was syncing too much time into it.
Me any time someone tells me I have to sleep on a futon
Because when a nun times anything it's zero. (0*n=0)
Because time was always running out.
I am always on time." "And your biggest weakness " "I get annoyed when my dealer is late."
He had a wail of a time.
Me: 7:30. It's 2 hours 50 minutes Hub: WHAT! I CANT STAY UP TILL 10:30 "Back off ladies. He's mine"
I don't know, this is the first time I've logged onto Reddit, today.
An anthropologist
Time
Jane: I can't answer. I didn't know I was supposed to keep count!
Al Kaline.
BB-L8
The mourning
Because you'd make a spectacle of yourself.
An attornity.
Some idiot forgot to pull it out in time.
FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON DRAGONBALL ZEEEEE! (I really hope this isn't a repost)
A waist of time *door closes on way out*
The victims of 9/11. They went through over 87 stories in less than 2 1/2 minutes.
He came and went at the same time.
You don't know what to say until you wife reply's (idk go ask you dad.) what do you say My little joke
I better stop Stalin for time and Putin a little more effort.
It's very selective. Edit. My first time making a joke. I know I can't make a joke. This is not directed at anyone.
Time to buy a new chair.
Guden Tight
You're getting too wrapped up in your work!
Getting all high and mighty
He whipped out his wand and yelled, "***Shtupify***!".
A one-hour facial.
Anyone can roast beef, but not everyone can pea soup. (As told by my 8yo, who made me laugh with a joke for the first time. Proud dad moment.)
Because they spend such a lot of their time in courts!
O Cristor Redundant
Me: *tying my dogs shoes* Sorry, what
They pay their debts on time.
Time to get a new watchdog.
They're way too into Stalin
Spring time.
Half to none of the time.
Three. When you tell it to her, then when you explain it to her, and then when she gets it.
I don't know, I lose track of time when I have an erection.
It was just a matter of time.
Answers below please.
The Age Of Ultron.
Once the balls drop, They're no longer interested!
No tomatoes.
Tenish.
Dude,I already did my time.
In mooments
So they won't run out of time
I'm not exactly sure, but it was about time.
It's the first time that black-on-black crime made national (even international) news.
If you're a surfer and you're getting head.
8 Chainz frowned. "14 Chainz doesn't have time for
Birds of prey!
Woman: We wanted to wait until the kids were dead.
Fished but he didn't catch much. He only had two worms!
Because the dimes (times) have changed.
Woman: "Thanks, she's 34 weeks. Do you have the time " Me: "Sure, it's 972 minutes past midnight."
When their time is up.
"We are not prepared to comment on specific numbers at this time."
Grow old!
A phoney friend!
Marblehead
If you lay them right the first time, you can walk all over them for years.
It was asbestos they could do at the time!
Son: The going bit is fine as is the coming home bit too but I'm not too keen on the time in-between!
Time served
Because time will tell.
The loser was 'thore'
I don't know either, but you would need a reeeally big chair!
America just did.
10 after 1
More time on tests.
Time to get a new fence...
Aye, there's the wub
I have thousands of fans who need to know my thoughts. So, no I can't take out the garbage.
When the power goes off.
I need to know what time to pick her up.
Gluten Tag And when a hippie hits you with a loaf of bread Flour power And when a lot of people do it at the same time a rye-ot
Me: Twitter. Padre: Wow, if I had a nickel for every time...
Her not hearing you, so you drop the bomb a 2nd time.
5 past Lundqvist
It checks the tornado watch.
Because every time he tried he got nailed to the boards!
He wrote sheet music.
V. Because no matter where you are, any time of any day, no matter what you do, V always follows U.
Time's sure fun when you're having flies!
Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time.
They both shred footage. (*be gentle, it's my first time.*)
Mom: Anytime between 1-4. Apparently my Mom works for the cable company now.
Because they spend too much time changing.
A. It saves them a lot of time.
There are two answere: Time and Boo (from Mario games). Just made this joke up what do you guys think
Teach me.
They were both driving their cars at the time!
The time of day he get into his BMW to go home from the dentists office after touching mouths all day
A pocket watch.
I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake
Another day.
Mariah Carey's mouth.
Me: To meet with your teacher. 7: Oh, you don't need to. I already saw her today.
A. Because he wanted to be a smarty
I don't know, i just fly the drone
You are turbanned
Smirnoff ISIS
Mr. President
Because they weren't getting a square meal.
Because it's traveling light!
Because they don't like the smell of Derry air.
Tardis..... I will see myself out..
OCD, OCD, OCD. Wait the last time didn't feel right. OCD, OCD, OCD. Wait, the second time didn't feel right. OCD, OCD, OCD. Wait...
