In meowers
Tennish.
Tennish
A Pair-a-ducks.
Aw sheet! One of my favorite, cheesiest jokes of all time. Thought it would be a good first post to Reddit!
Ten tickles
I don't have time for your ship.
The first couple of times you cough, the loogeys aren't yours!
20 after 1.
If you lay them right the first time, you can walk all over them for years.
OCD, OCD, OCD. Wait the last time didn't feel right. OCD, OCD, OCD. Wait, the second time didn't feel right. OCD, OCD, OCD. Wait...
You take the letter "f" out of the word "way" (there's no f in way) *joke works best when the person being asked the question has to think about it for some time and says the phrase themselves without realizing what they said
Dominoes. Falling one at a time.
The sausages.
What do you call a reptile who says "But Cowardly Lion......You've had courage..... This entire....Time"?
He was taking a sheet.
He wasn't comfortable with having that much time on his hands.
Juan nail at a time.
Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.
Government bonds mature over time and earn money
Because it was too cheesy. I work at a hot dog stand and tell this from time to time.
He went back 4 seconds.
A kid with cerebral palsy living in Australia
Cacawatches
It was full of fans. Thank thank you for your time
You get laid the same amount of times but the dishes start to pile up. Hey now!
I'm Thor
Two of my favorites are:
Around Ten-ish.
Time to go to sweep.
A line of marathon runners
Nothing. She's dead.
A racket.
You wouldn't want to get repossessed!
As Many Times As It Wants!
Tooth hurty
When was the last time you saw a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field?
Failure to pull out in time
When the big hand touches the little hand
FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON DRAGON BALL Z
A poop
Dinosore
Not Yeti
It'd be a waste of time.
Someone didn't pull it out in time.
The octopus. I have no idea what to do with my hands most of the time, and I only have two of them.
Criminal: You said it was time to spill the beans.
Dr Whoover
When the old one expects you to "do your share"
An old person can sing and brush their teeth at the same time.
They're not infallible
With a witchwatch.
Five after one.
Me: "BRO, you were there."
A quarter to three.
It's not >9000) FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON DRAGGGGON BAAAAL ZEEEEEEEEE
Virgos don't have time to change their own lightbulbs. They're too busy changing them for everyone else.
We both like to be in the same bathtub at the same time.
Me.
They have the knights watch.
By the time you're finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.
They go fission.
A watchdog.
Don't asp me!
I don't waste my time with these childish jokes.
An alarm cluck!
Repost
My life. My entire goddamned life.
101 Ways to Wok Your Dog
R/explainlikeimfive
Bones upon a time...!
I can barely keep track of my kids and I only have 1 of those. Wait. Two. I have 2 kids.
When there is a prophet involved.
Give her the dong.
This
Tooth hurty (2:30)
That brief span of time between "I do" and "You'd better!"
Me: This morning. On the way here. Just felt like it was time.
Because given enough time it rises
Tink about it. Gai lan, gai lan... gai lan, gai lan, and gai lan. (thanks to Chapelle show skit((making the band)))
You can't steal a real car a few bits at a time
They were just Stalin for time.
A watch dog!
A pair of ducks.
Damn, son. It's about time!
A bananosecond
God: *sigh* Fine. Mouths. But they'll talk. A lot.
No, the guide said, one time is usually enough.
Elizabeth.
Staying up all night thinking if there really is a dog
Stay up all night wondering if there is a Dog.
You were born in a car. Now go fetch your sister, Hospitaldaughter. It's time for tablemeal.
Because it won't even give you the time of day.
A tangent
He screwed, nutted, and bolted.
I'm going to finish my book." "I didn't know you were writing a book." "I'm not, I'm reading one."
Every time he touched a "wound" it closed.
IN HIS SLEEVIES LOL xp cuz it's like armies like babi talk for arms instead of an armie like a bunch of dudes w/ issues w/ theer masculinity np, glad i cud explain dis 2 u
They say that 9/11 was an inside job... but planes fly OUTSIDE. Can't explain that
He was galactose intolerant.
The kernel was looking for him.
If this popular game show told a joke, it would put the punchline first.
People who comment "repost" on a Joke subreddit.
Friend: A six pack. does 10 crunches cancels
He wanted a spare in case he had a split.
They're an anti de-present.
When do we want 'em? Time machines!
I'm not Willie Nelson' Credit: old joke via: Norm Macdonald
Because he didn't want to stub his toe when he kicked the bucket!
He wanted to go down on history.
He Went Back Four Seconds.
Because her pee is silent.
Because it doesn't have to stop off to change color!
