Why do you never wear two monocles at the same time?

Because you'd make a spectacle of yourself.

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What did the handyman do... when he got his girlfriend in bed with him for the first time?

He screwed, nutted, and bolted.

Who are you and how do you get the time and money?

Teach me.

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

Why shouldn't you wear a watch on your belt?

It'd be a waste of time.

Why would you wear two pairs of pants while golfing?

You might get a hole in one.

Spectacle Jokes More Spectacle Jokes

Why do you never wear two monocles at the same time?

Because you'd make a spectacle of yourself.

What happened to the dog that fell into a lens-grinding machine?

He made a spectacle of himself.

Monocle Jokes More Monocle Jokes

Why do you never wear two monocles at the same time?

Because you'd make a spectacle of yourself.

Why should you never go out drinking if you wear a monocle?

Because then you'd be a barnacle.