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Why do you never wear two monocles at the same time?

Because you'd make a spectacle of yourself.

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What do a frozen beer, a burnt pizza, and a pregnant girl have in common?

Failure to pull out in time

What are you gonna do today?

Me: Shower. W: ...what else M: Make a new iTunes playlist. W: Wow. M: Might not have time for a shower.

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

Why do Scottish men wear kilts instead of jeans?

Because a sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

Why do monks wear such plain clothes?

It's a habit.

Spectacle Jokes More Spectacle Jokes

What happened to the dog that fell into a lens-grinding machine?

He made a spectacle of himself.

Why do you never wear two monocles at the same time?

Because you'd make a spectacle of yourself.

Monocle Jokes More Monocle Jokes

Why do you never wear two monocles at the same time?

Because you'd make a spectacle of yourself.

Why should you never go out drinking if you wear a monocle?

Because then you'd be a barnacle.