Why should you never go out drinking if you wear a monocle?

Because then you'd be a barnacle.

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Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

Why did the black guy wear a suit and tie to his vasectomy?

Well, if I'm gonna be impotent, I'm gonna look impotent.

Why do Canadians say aboot?

Because there is too much snow to wear shoes.

Barnacle Jokes More Barnacle Jokes

How did the scuba-diver pay for his drinks?

With Barnacles (bar nickels)

How does a barnacle like its martinis?

On the rocks.

Monocle Jokes More Monocle Jokes

Why do you never wear two monocles at the same time?

Because you'd make a spectacle of yourself.

Why should you never go out drinking if you wear a monocle?

Because then you'd be a barnacle.