Why do you hate me?

Me any time someone tells me I have to sleep on a futon

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Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

How do you get your wife to listen to every word without interrupting?

Talk in your sleep.

What do you call two brown people in a sleeping bag?

Twix.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What kind of pizzas can tell the future?

Medium Pizzas

How can you tell a mortician is a necrophiliac?

He's always HARD at work.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What do you get if you steamroll a crab and a Korean at the same time?

A crustacean

What type of gun do time travelers use?

A Clock-18

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

What popular board game do dyslexics hate?

Scramble

Why do electricians wear pants?

Because they hate shorts.