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Why do you hate me?

Me any time someone tells me I have to sleep on a futon

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Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

What does a cat sleep on?

A caterpillow.

Why was my other pillow jealous?

Because I like to sleep around.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell when a Software Developer is an extrovert?

He looks at shoes when he's talking to you.

What did Tom Riddle's calculator tell Harry Potter?

8008132

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What time of day are you not able to find your watch?

4:04

What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time.

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

Why do pigs run from medicine?

They hate getting cured.

Why do politians hate the term "mudslinging"?

They don't want to get their hands dirty.