What did Russian judge say to the jury?

I better stop Stalin for time and Putin a little more effort.

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Russian Jokes More Russian Jokes

Why did the cosmonaut forget to pack extra underwear?

Because he was Russian.

Why did the Crimean run across the Street?

Because he was Russian

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

Why did your sister cut a hole in her new umbrella?

Because she wanted to be able to tell when it stopped raining.

How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles?

Nail its other hand to the floor.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What' the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Anyone can roast beef, but not everyone can pea soup. (As told by my 8yo, who made me laugh with a joke for the first time. Proud dad moment.)

How many times can look at the sun with a telescope?

You can do this twice. One time with you right eye and one with your left!

Stalin Jokes More Stalin Jokes

Why didint Stalin like his new IPhone?

It had a 5 year plan

What do you think about the Russian military intervention in Krimea?

I think they're just Stalin. If they are, soviet, as long as they're Putin their weapons away.

Putin Jokes More Putin Jokes

Why does it smell so bad in Russia?

Everybody loves Putin!

What do you get when you place a Russian leader on a cracker?

Putin on the Ritz.

Jury Jokes More Jury Jokes

How did the jury find the hamburger?

Grill-ty as charred!

Why are doctors sued for malpractice at the beach?

Because they are judged by a jury of their piers.