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How many times did I tell you to make your bed?

Jane: I can't answer. I didn't know I was supposed to keep count!

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

Why did the woman take a load of hay to bed?

To feed her nightmare.

What's the best thing about 21 year olds in bed?

There's 21 of them

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do know a clarinet player is playing loud?

You can almost hear them.

How do you know you're speaking with an engineer?

Don't worry they'll tell you.

Answer Jokes More Answer Jokes

How do you answer the door Mathematically?

Door: "What is 2+2 " Me: "4" Door: "Cool!"

How can you tell if someone is schizophrenic?

I'll let my friend answer that one:

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why shouldn't you tell a story to a solipsist?

Because they won't believe it.

How do you please all the people?

Tell them Ellen Pao has stepped down as of today!

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What does Batman's mum shout when it's time for dinner?

Nothing. She's dead.

What time are you supposed to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty!

Count Jokes More Count Jokes

What do you say to the cashier when you're adamant about using an expired coupon?

Dis counts!!

What do you call the Lord Commander of the Night's Watch voting?

Counting Crows

Suppose Jokes More Suppose Jokes

What do you suppose Ray Rice's fiance' did when he got her home from knocking her out?

The dishes if she knows what's good for her!

Why did you do that?

I replied,"That's what you're supposed to do in soccer, right Kick balls "