How many times did I tell you to make your bed?

Jane: I can't answer. I didn't know I was supposed to keep count!

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

What do you tell a diabetic girl in bed?

Hi sugar

Why are woman's feet always so cold in bed?

Because they have no soles. Joke my fiancee just said to me.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What's your strong suit?

Oh, you know, The Hulk costume.

What were Adam's first ever words to Eve?

Stand back - I don't know how big it's going to get!

Answer Jokes More Answer Jokes

What is not the answer to this question?

Not this.

How do scaredy-cats answer the phone?

Yellow

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How did Helen Kellers parents punish her?

They gave her a basketball and told her to read.

How can you tell your boyfriend has gained weight?

You fit into his clothes.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

How many times do you have to tickle a squid to make it laugh?

Ten tickles

What do nuclear physicists do when they have time off?

They go fission.

Count Jokes More Count Jokes

When can you count on a hamburger in an emergency?

When the chips are down!

How did the doctor know Muhammad Ali was dead?

He never got up by the time he counted to 10 Edit: Phrasing

Suppose Jokes More Suppose Jokes

How are that many Republicans candidates supposed to debate each other at once?

Throw a dollar bill in the floor and let the last one alive run for president.

Why are MMA fighters told not to blow their nose when in a fight?

Oops, this was supposed to be for. There's no punch line!