How many times did I tell you to make your bed?

Jane: I can't answer. I didn't know I was supposed to keep count!

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

Why did the girl take a ruler to bed?

She wanted to see how long she slept.

Why did Jimmy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept for.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Where do I see myself in ten years?

I don't know. Let me think. *pictures self riding jet ski made of bones through space*

What's your strong suit?

Oh, you know, The Hulk costume.

Answer Jokes More Answer Jokes

How does Beyonce answer the phone?

HALO HALO HALO!* - inspired from the Superbowl XLV11 Half-Time show

Why did the pirate have trouble with the alphabet?

Because his 'I' was all jacked up.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What do you tell a cow blocking a road?

Mooove

How do you know someone went to Harvard?

They tell you.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Which rappers had a flow that could simultaneously speed up and slow down at the same time?

MC Escher

What is the most up-voted comment of all time?

Repost

Count Jokes More Count Jokes

Why couldn't Miss Piggy count to 100?

Because when she got to 69, there was a frog in her throat.

What does it sounds like when a Japanese Homer Simpson forgets how to count to 11?

Nin, ten, "....I'll leave now.

Suppose Jokes More Suppose Jokes

How long are you supposed to wait to return a boy's call?

This IRS guy sounded pretty into me

Who names hurricanes?

Are people actually supposed to be intimidated by something named Sandy?