How many times did I tell you to make your bed?

Jane: I can't answer. I didn't know I was supposed to keep count!

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

What did Mick Jagger say when he walked in on Hugh Hefner in bed with Dennis Weaver?

He said "Hey Hey Hugh Hugh Get Off Of McCould"

How do you get a 300 pound woman into bed?

Piece of cake

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why are hairdressers never late for work?

Because they know all the short cuts!

What do you get when you cross a rhino with an elephant?

Hell-if-i-know (my grandma's favorite joke)

Answer Jokes More Answer Jokes

What's red and black and screaming all over?

Stevie Wonder when he answers the iron.

Why did the Muslim take his Note 7 onto an airplane?

Do I really have to answer that Who doesn't bring their phone with them when they travel

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What did the hippie say when somebody told him to get off of their couch?

Namaste.

What kinds of stories do dolphins tell around the campfire?

They're just ghost stories for all in tents and porpoises.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Who are you and how do you get the time and money?

Teach me.

What do you say when you meet a German virgin for the first time?

Guden Tight

Count Jokes More Count Jokes

What's Subway Jared's favorite TV show?

19 Kids and Counting

How does the Terminator lose weight?

By counting Kylereese.

Suppose Jokes More Suppose Jokes

How many editors does it take to change a lightbulb?

It was supposed to be in place last week!

What am I supposed to take tomorrow?

Doctor: That was a 30 day supply. Me: Whoops.