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What did Einstein's dad say when he published his theory of relativity?

Damn, son. It's about time!

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Damn Jokes More Damn Jokes

What does Shakespeare say when he is angry with his dog?

Out, out, damned Spot!

What did the atheist say when he found himself at the Pearly Gates the day he died?

Well I'll be damned!

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Why did the kid throw the watch out the window?

So time would fly.

How many times do you have to tickle a squid to make it laugh?

Ten tickles

Theory Jokes More Theory Jokes

How does traffic form?

My theory is that it is a Protozoa Plankton

What did Einstein's dad say when he published his theory of relativity?

Damn, son. It's about time!

Relativity Jokes More Relativity Jokes

Why are people from Arkansas so good at Science?

Because they use the Theory of Relativity to find a partner.

How did Einstein prove you can break the law of relativity?

He married his cousin.

Son Jokes More Son Jokes

Why did the sailor ground his son?

His grades were below sea level

Why don't you talk to John anymore, you used to be best friends?

Son: Well, would you be friends with someone who was stupid, took drugs and was drunk all the time? Mom: No, Never! Son: Well neither would he!

Publish Jokes More Publish Jokes

Why couldn't the physicist get his paper published?

It was a work of friction.

Why did the pig send his story to New York?

He wanted to be published on Pork Avenue.

Einstein Jokes More Einstein Jokes

What do you call it when Einstein faps?

A stroke of genius.

What do people at the Genius Bar drink from?

Einsteins